hot-bdsm-girlA female reader writes in with this interesting question about Dominant Men:

“I was wondering if this is the right email to ask, alphax, a question? I was researching websites on how men dominate women because Im studying psychology in college and want to know how dominant men think. I don’t meet a lot of those but the ones I do make an impression and regardless if good or bad, its definitely lasting. “

“So my question is what attracts dominant men in girls? Based on some of your articles I read and the pics you have on you p.I. Pubs website its generally the young hot ones that attracts the dom’s attention. Is that all there is to it? “

“Also is it the girl’s fault generally if she attracts the betas? Like her character? Is it opposites attract kind of thing? Like sweet and sensitive gets strong and masculine? “

Hi Natalie,

Interesting questions. I will try to be brief, but we could write a book on this topic.

“So my question is what attracts dominant men in girls? Based on some of your articles I read and the pics you have on you p.I. Pubs website its generally the young hot ones that attracts the dom’s attention. Is that all there is to it?”

No, there is always more to it. You being a psychology student should know all humans are very complex. From a statistical point of view, humans behave on some set and familiar patterns – however, there are ALWAYS outliers. That is part of the old “nature vs. nurture” argument on why some people pick different paths even with similar physical choices.

First, let us clear up some terminology…

Some “dom’s” who like to dominate women are not very Alpha. They may know what they like sexually, and they may attract a woman who also likes to be dominated in bed by a Master, but that doesn’t make them Alpha.

A dominant man may also not be a “dom” in the sense of role playing with restraints, whips, toys and the rituals with his sexual partner, but he still may dominate in bed and the relationship.

A Dom is a sexual role in an established relationship.

A dominant man is a man who clearly decides what he will and will not do and exercises these choices with little to no displayed fear. He is fully aware that his choice may not keep people in his life happy, but he makes his choice based on what he believes is best for him and his life.

An Alpha man is a dominant man who also has learned to communicate high sexual value to women and can have a larger choice of the more attractive women in a set environment. This is isn’t just dominance but a spirit that also inspires and challenges women.
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Dominance is not very fluid, though it is controlled. Alpha is a bit more fluid since it is somewhat a matter of perception. The rock star on stage with 1000’s of girls throwing panties at him is going to seem a lot more Alpha than I am sitting at his concert. However, put me and this guy at a neutral party or bar setting, and I may still end up being the bigger Alpha as noted by social standing and quality of women attracted.

I have seen a rather dominant man on “Maury” clip that had 6 children by 3 women. This man told the women how he was going to live and they went along with it. He had 3 children with his wife, 2 with her friend, 1 with his girlfriend. In all accounts he had harem. None of these women said they liked the fact they shared him, but like it or not, they all did share.

What kept this man from being classified as an Alpha in my mind was the quality of the women. The smallest was at least 260 pounds and double the size of any woman I have ever been with. The largest was a beast that had to be well over 300. Being dominant with a bunch of women that the average man wouldn’t touch doesn’t portray a sexually desired Alpha by most of societies standards. The guy who can’t even land a woman that looks like this may look up to this guy, but every other man with even a normal ability to date will look down on him.

In mainstream media we would never say this – it’s not polite and might hurt someones feeling. It also won’t sell much advertising. It is, however, the truth. And on a subconscious level we all know it.

So what attracts a man to a specific girl?
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My firm belief is men evolved to look for very specific visual cues as to the health (desirability) of a woman. This has been found to be true across multiple languages, cultures, locations, etc. Basically, men respond to the same physical features in a fertile woman.

“Evolutionary psychology suggests that a woman’s sexual attractiveness is based on cues of health and reproductive potential. In recent years, research has focused on the ratio of the width of the waist to the width of the hips (the waist-to-hip ratio (WHR)). A lowWHR (i.e. a curvaceous body) is believed to correspond to the optimal fat distribution for high fertility, and so this shape should be highly attractive. In this paper we present evidence that weight scaled for height (the body mass index (BMI)) is the primary determinant of sexual attractiveness rather thanWHR. BMI is also strongly linked to health and reproductive potential. Furthermore, we show how covariation of apparent BMI andWHR in previous studies led to the overestimation of the importance of WHR in the perception of female attractiveness. Finally, we show how visual cues, such as the perimeter-area ratio (PAR), can provide an accurate and reliable index of an individual’s BMI and could be used by an observer to differentiate between potential partners.”

Visual cues to female physical attractiveness – The Royal Society PDF

Said in plain English – A .7 hip-to-waist ratio AND low body fat % are strong cues to the sexual fitness of a woman. If you read and research a little more you will find that long hair, clear white eyes, pink/red lips and cheeks are also cues to a sexually fit woman. Age also plays a role, as it is more likely a woman will display these traits the younger she is. She was also more likely to survive the childbirth process before our modern medical achievements helped lower infant and mother mortality rates.

This doesn’t say much to the personality of said female.

A man can see a woman that displays these sexual cues, and instantly want to have sex with her. You see, our investment can be just a few minutes of physical sex and she is impregnated.

This is another component of Evolutionary Psychology that looks to explain the different mating strategies of men and women. Namely, women release 1 egg per month, with a nine month investment in carrying a baby and another 16-20 years of caring for the child while a man need only to take a few minutes to cum in her with a few million sperm and he can be on his way.

This starts to explain why women look for specific qualities in long and short term mates – and many of these qualities are a cross of pure alpha and beta as we tend to define them. A dominate beta with Alpha tendencies is a great catch for the average woman. Given our culture (which includes religion), and not the evolutionary mating strategy programmed into our heads, we have been trained to also have certain beliefs about what we SHOULD want. This is part of the pair bonding and personalities of the mating pair for long term relationships.
sexy models sexy boots redhead lether hot pasties
Part of this culture programming impacts the resources a man is willing to invest in a woman. Part of this resource investment is evolutionary while part is cultural. For example, a man does not typically want to raise another man’s children. This is why many predator type of animals that have a social structure will kill the young of the leader if that leader is beaten – these young drain resources that could be used for the new “Alpha’s” young. However, given our culture, many men and women believe it is acceptable for a man to raise another man’s children. Actually, a solid chunk of single moms believe a man SHOULD want to raise her children.

Getting free of this cultural programming is what I spend most of my time teaching to men. I teach them how to see patterns they live, how to see the truth about what women want, and how to remove cultural programming that is holding them back. I also teach them how to display the sexual cues of a high value man so they can have a much wider selection of females.

Men so rarely display high levels of dominance and masculinity, that a man simply strong enough to go against cultural “rules” to display this dominance makes women want to sleep with him. Just like the visually desired woman (one that displays fertile features) instantly attracts a man, a man that displays Alpha qualities instantly turns on a girl.

She may not like him, but being “liked” is not a primary attraction trigger.

This display of dominance and Alpha short circuits the “cultural” programming of girls to not sleep around fast or even cheat.

I believe the cultural role imprinted over the natural evolutionary mating strategies is not only the success for our building a technological superior civilization, but also the root of many of our mating issues. We are a species that pretends to be honest while we spend a lot of time hiding and denying the truth. We also make emotional decisions and then rationalize why would made that the decision AFTER we have already done what we want.

So back to your question. As we said, most men like young women, with low body fat levels, long hair, clear bright eyes, a .7 hip-to-waist ratio, and pink/red lips and cheeks. Most men do not want an easy woman. They want to be the one to conquer her, with access to sex with her severally limited (think invest or resources for children not his) to other men. At this point, culture really starts to play a role. When we start to look at personalities, what a man can want will vary based on his culture and upbringing.

Personally, I like feminine women. I like women who are smart and funny, without thinking they have to challenge me to impress me. I like women who embrace their sexual role as a positive, with no worries that they aren’t as strong as me in certain roles.

With all of this, there is one more component. This one aspect really impacts what a dominant or Alpha man will and will not want in a girl.

Experience.

You see, I know the Alpha Laws. I have slept with hundreds of girls. I have slept with multiple at the same time in a live in type relationship. I have been in so many environments and situations with women that literally nothing shocks me. Nothing fazes me. I know exactly how men and women are, and with this wisdom my threshold for bullshit is minimal.

young-attractive-girlWhat I mean is I am very truthful in my communication of expectations with women. Being a dominant man is not the same thing as being controlling. I don’t have to rely on manipulation, threats, violence, or anything like that. I can, but I don’t.

A man of less experience will likely put up with more drama from a woman. The more he is unwilling to walk away, the more she feels the need to “test” him. She needs to know where his line is to understand how dependable he is. Many men see the “give her what she wants” or “go along to get along” strategy as one where they are supporting their mate and displaying dependability. They are wrong. Without knowing exactly where a man draws the line the women constantly fears the man is weak and not able to defend either of them.

Because of my experience, wisdom, and internal belief system, I know who I am and how I will live. I also know how fast women sleep with men that display dominant masculinity coupled with high value. This means I am less likely to jump through any hoops. My boundaries are established before the first “hello”. If I am not your type, that is fine. I am not likely to take you on a fancy date, or bring you flowers, or do any of the other “cultural” based crap expected of men to win a girl – until AFTER I have had sex with you and decide I want to have you in my life for an extended period of time. I am not waiting to the third date to see if maybe we are sexually compatible.

I will explain who I am, what I am about and what I expect. The woman is always free to “reject” me. She is free to leave at anytime. I will not try to “keep” her or “control” her at all. Actually, as I am qualifying her I am also removing the pedestal society typically has placed under her butt. I am not going to be dependent on her for my masculine energy. Rather, I will charge her feminine energy with my dependable masculine energy.

And what maintains this balance? Preselection.

We both know if she leaves there will be another girl very fast though. With my lifestyle there are likely a dozen women at any given moment with whom I could call that would JUMP at the chance to be with me. Girls I have picked up for threesomes with my girlfriend, girls I have met through social events, and all of the other girls that I can go meet anywhere. This continues to push my value up – which makes it easier to be with even more women. It is a great upward spiral – and likely where the “feast or famine” phrase came from.
sexual-powerful-male
Similar as to why so many women will sleep with “famous” men – rock stars, athletes, actors, etc. without knowing much about him. The preselection he has with other women overrides their cultural programming and they jump into bed with him. It is a particular psychological programming in both evolutionary and social behavior. She assumes that the other girls that all want this guy must have more information about the guy than she does.

It never ceases to amaze me how many men think they have to look like buff fashion models and how many women think they have to have male success to attract members of the opposite sex. This is literally imprinting what cues WE look for and expect onto a member of the opposite sex. Since we want a particular cue, we expect the opposite sex to want the same cue.

This is why a lot of career women are not as satisfied that their job success rarely impresses a man from a sexual relationship standpoint. Her work success is not one of those prewired evolutionary attraction button for him.

On the same topic, this is one reason why men do not use preselection more for getting women – men get jealous/hurt at women they like with other men while women get jealous/attracted to the man that has lots of other women interested in him. Since a woman with multiple men is not a prewired evolutionary attraction button for men, men try to hide this trait from women.

“Also is it the girl’s fault generally if she attracts the betas?”

Yes and no.

As we discussed, your looks, coupled somewhat by your culturally tempered personality, is what attracts men. The “hotter” you are in an evolutionary point of view coupled with socially accepted beauty (fashion and rituals) will dictate the level of man that is initially attracted to you. If the sexually attractive men are not at least making a point of meeting you, you likely aren’t as hot as you think you are. Feel free to send me a photo and I will give you my honest opinion.

The sweet and feminine personality will likely keep ALL men interested in you longer – both the ones you like and the ones you don’t. Most dominant men that I have ever met like feminine women. Actually, through all of my experience I cannot think of one very sexually successful man that has ever been in a long term relationship with anyone other than a feminine woman.

I know of a lot of nice, sensitive men that tolerate domineering women. I think they tolerate this from a lack of options, not a desire.

So you attracting a beta is likely based on your displayed looks (which I assume you put effort into) just the same as attracting an Alpha. If you have to keep dealing with a specific beta it is because of your communication with him. After you meet him and you decide you are not interested, you will need to have a very pointed conversation with him destroying all possibility of sexual contact.

But women don’t typically have a very pointed conversation like this. They tend to subtly hint and wonder why the men don’t “get it”. They also tend to string men along because they don’t want to hurt our feelings, they enjoy the attention from men as an ego boost, or they keep hoping the guy becomes more dominant.

Alpha-Line-Divider
UPDATED

“It’s natali and thank you for your response it was informative.

That test thing you were talking about the need to push a man to his limits the more he hangs about I do that I never knew why I have been told by my mother and friends who noticed it to stop but I never could. I tried to I didn’t like it, well after the fact at least, but it just happens and now based on what you wrote are you saying it’s wired in women to do that because females are looking for that alpha man even unconsciously maybe?”

Natali,

You are welcome.

As in all things, you can go too far – testing included. Have you ever seen “The Taming of the Shrew”? It is a classic movie and it describes a rather unpleasant woman who test the hell out of her soon to be husband, only to finally “submit” and accept him as a strong Alpha. Worth a watch from both men and women. Especially men on dealing with these test – and not letting them get under your skin.

As for the testing being unconscious – yes, some (maybe most) of the time they are. I have no doubt though, being a woman, you plot and plan to test a guy you like. It is your nature.

Alpha-Line-Divider

“If I can ask for you to keep to yourself on this one I would be much obliged…

I am assuming because of your self acclaimed status as a successful alpha male that has no problem getting involved intimately with countless of women, and because of your teaching status through your website that you understand the mentality of the group you represent very well. So I want to know from someone that has had hundreds of gorgeous model types and their friends in everywhich way and because you wrote you have seen it all and nothing surprises you anymore which sounds really boring and lonely by the way, sorry, all the more so because I’m assuming you’re not an old geezer of some sort my question is what would pull a guy like you? I know you said a long haired blushing girly girl but you must have had so many of them is that still something that holds sway from the rest of the group? I mean what can one offer to someone that has had it all and then some? I’m asking from a wider perspective you understand. I want to know more about your type. Guys like you are interesting and since you get to teach guys how to get laid, which honestly isnt all that hard guys complicate the whole thing much more then need be in my opinion not that i allow easy access or anything it’s just life, can u teach girls how to hold a man like that’s attention? I don’t want to be another notch on some belt I want to learn to hold my own without the manipulative mind games anymore.

Also I have many more questions and if you don’t mind I will send them.

And now that I thought about it you can publish our convos I guess it can be a learning experience for others as much as me.

Thank you!”

Self proclaimed status? Well…. to an extent. I do take guys out to teach, I have also been on Cliff’s List DVD’s series, Double Your Dating Advanced Dating Techniques DVD’s and Interviews With Dating Gurus. I have turned down other potential engagements due to the time investment vs. my current executive role.sexy-ukrainian-girl

“I’m assuming you’re not an old geezer” – Haven’t spent much time on researching your subject, have you?  About AlphaX   That is me and my current girlfriend. I am old. So old. I do look good for 72 though. Just outside of the picture you could see the handle to my walker, my nurse and the oxygen.

“which sounds really boring and lonely by the way” – When I first started learning about human interactions and pick-up, it did become boring. The “magic” of connection was gone replaced by a formula, if you will. However, with a few more years of age and experience, knowing these behavioral traits is anything but lonely or boring. I am not shocked, or fazed – but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a wild time and relish the rush of a new experience. This truly is one of those “the world is what you make it” situations.

” my question is what would pull a guy like you? I know you said a long haired blushing girly girl but you must have had so many of them is that still something that holds sway from the rest of the group? I mean what can one offer to someone that has had it all and then some? I’m asking from a wider perspective you understand. I want to know more about your type.”

Yes, that is tough, and why you ladies enjoy Alpha’s so much. I mentioned long hair, it is a turn onto me – and I have flat told girls with short pixie cuts I don’t date girls with short hair. I certainly only date feminine women, as I am not attracted to masculine women at all. So what can you do differently?

Well one thing you can do is be a little more coy and flirty. One of the things I have experienced is just how fast a girl will go to sex when these masculine traits are displayed. Just like the average guy defaults to “too nice” or “paying for everything” with a girl they like, a girl that is feeling a lot of masculine energy will put out incredibly fast. Sometimes a little challenge is fun. A little push-pull, verbal flirting with an attractive girl always sets a girl apart.

Besides being a stunner, my current girlfriend is very smart. She has an incredible wit, and we do play that sparing game. She was also a challenge, not completely giving in when I first pursued her. I liked that every guy around hit on her and flirted, and they were all “sweetly” turned down and she is with me.

Exactly how you act will always be influenced on your surroundings, settings and the interaction with said man, but a little challenge – the illusion that you are a prize that most men want, but only a few will ever have will set you apart.

And I don’t mean bitchy, I mean playfully flirty. Like you are interested, sexually aware of him, but unsure of the outcome.

Is there one particular man you are interested in? Tell me more about his traits, how he acts around you and others.

“Guys like you are interesting and since you get to teach guys how to get laid, which honestly isnt all that hard guys complicate the whole thing much more then need be in my opinion not that i allow easy access or anything it’s just life, can u teach girls how to hold a man like that’s attention?”

BUHAHAHAHA… Your right – guys do complicate it. But this is the reason a guy with a lot of girls is a stud, while a girl with a lot of guys is a slut. Getting laid for most women isn’t that hard. Even the ugliest and largest women still seem to have guys that will sleep with them. What you don’t understand is most guys have a very hard time getting laid. A girl may reject 100 guys in a night out at the club because she didn’t “like” them. She may be picky and have standards, but she still had the option to have sex with almost every guy. The fact she didn’t exercise this option doesn’t change the fact most guys would have slept with her. A guy will have to face the rejection of opening, yet for most men they do not have the immediate option of sex – they have to create that option by making the girl feel attraction.

cute-dixie-girl Can I teach girls? Yes. And Natalie, most girls suffer the same issue that guys tend to suffer when they really like a girl and want to be with her (like have sex with her) – they overcomplicate the entire process. And they look at the situation of what THEY would like, not what the other person craves.

The average guy really likes a girl, what does he do? He tells her – removing the unknown. He is nice to her – which removes the mystery. He shows her a lot of attention – which lowers the attraction.

But what do ALL of these things do? They release the tension. These are the things he wishes this girl would do TO HIM – so it would release the tension he is feeling from his desire to her.

If you are a guy that can spark a lot of attention in girls, then you get this same dynamic all the time. Like I have said in my writing, I am not the type of guy women are just stunned or attracted to by looking at me. I have to interact and create that attraction. No model good looks for me. But once I have sparked that attraction, what do I have to deal with?

Girls texting all the time. Girls easily throwing out sex to spend time with me. Offers to go do just about anything you can imagine. And since I only date bi girls, the threesome offer is on the table frequently. Am I complaining – hell no. Just understand, how a guy acts when he is head over heels for you is how most women act when they are head over heels for a man. Needy, insecure and looking to release that tension.

So try what I said above – flirt, but don’t rush in. A guy will place value on you if he thinks you are not easy to get. Even if you have never had a one night stand, if you do with him, you will likely not be as valued. And at least 90% of the girls that slept with me in the first hour, or first night, told me they have never done that. I don’t believe any of them, and while I really liked some of them, the ones that valued themselves a little more won me.

“manipulative mind games anymore” – That statement is why you are getting so much of my time. I feel you are genuine in your quest for knowledge. One of the things I have learned is manipulation, influence, eliciting set values and patterns all run the risk of being a mind game or hurting another person. They can also all radiate positive energy that fulfills your significant other.

A scary movie is crafted in a way so as to manipulate your nervous system into feeling dread and releasing adrenaline – the fight or flight hormone. But is that manipulation bad?

A drama is crafted to illicit more of a suspense and sad response. Is that manipulation bad?

One of the major mental challenges is to remember the way you see the world, your wants and desires, are generally the same as everyone else, but, specifically different. We all want to feel love, but how we feel love is usually different.

With that, it is ok if you manipulate a situation into an Alpha being able to feel attraction to you. It is ok if you are in a setting where a lot of guys want you in front of the guy you want IF this in turn gives him the feeling of value and pride when he finally wins you. To me it is all in the perspective and the energy you bring to the interaction.natural-girl

I know girls that have manipulated a guy into buying them some pretty expensive items with the implied promise of intimate relations – while they had no intention of EVER living up to it. These girls (or guys in similar roles) I have no sympathy for. This is the hurtful manipulation.

But using a little intuition and sexual charm to heighten the sexual tension in a potential mate – that is the magic. It is the “Je ne sais quoi”.

It is all dependent on the energy YOU bring into the interaction.

Alpha-Line-Divider

“Sorry it just came to me and its more crucial then the others I asked.

Were you always like that? Even in childhood you expressed some alpha characteristics? Can one notice them at a young age or is it over the years through personal choice and life experience? Can someone start out demure but then “awaken” or something like that into a more dominant nature? Like ita dormant till someone or something comes along and triggers it?

Did you have self confidence issues and then decide to go on a personal power trip of dominating women and having mindless sex as an ego boost? Or you really just care about your kindred gender sex lives so much your personal mission in life has become to help your bros and dudes get laid?

Doesn’t the need to dominate and be in power outside and inside the bed just show deep inside someone feels powerless? Not attractive enough? Rich enough? Good or smart enough?

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Sincerely much.”

No, I wasn’t always like this.

Did I display some Alpha traits? Yes, I believe I did. I was a bit shy, but we moved all the time. This forced me to talk (and fight) a lot. I was always smart, so I was very curious as to how things work – both the foundation for all of my research here and my engineering degree. I like systems and understanding mechanics and then using those to get what I want.

Yes one can notice these traits at a young age. I got custody of my son when he was 1 year old. He was very shy, but I could see a willful mind. So I focused on developing him into an Alpha. He is 13 now, one of the smaller kids in his grade (I was a late bloomer, looks like he will be too). He is an Alpha though. One grade above him, very hot girlfriend. Runs with the jock crowd, is a great football player beating out over 100 kids for his slot on one of the elite teams. I have had him lifting weights and training (lightly) since he was 8. He is the strongest kid in his school for his weight class. He also is an A/B student with all honors classes. (ED: Yes I am proud – how he handles his girlfriends makes him an Alpha – the rest is just icing on the cake.)

From a psychology stand point, we all have a certain basis of where we are. Some people are shy, some are loud. Our genetic makeup influences us. However, after that point, it is up to us. Almost everything in life is a skill. Skills can be learned. Sure, it may be harder for a shy person to learn to be dominant, but so what. It may be easier for that shy person to also display an aloof stoic exterior (a much desired Alpha trait in some situations), which the loud dominant person may not be so easily able to do.

“Can someone start out demure but then “awaken” or something like that into a more dominant nature?”

From my link above on My Story –

“During this time, I started having financial troubles with work as well.


I found myself drinking heavy, living on a buddy’s couch (thanks Kyle!) and just trying to make it each day.


Then came the dot com crash. Right after our divorce was final I had to file an $8 million dollar personal Chapter 7 Bankruptcy.

I had lost my wife, wealth, status – everything. Well, I was awarded Primary Custody of our son, but only because of all the stupid decisions she made violating court orders. And right after our divorce she gave birth to a beautiful little girl. The bartenders little girl.

That is when I looked in the mirror one hung-over morning and decided it was time to make a change. If I were honest with myself, there was only one common denominator in all of my failed relationships or business efforts. And that was ME!”

tame-the-hot-girlYes, life experiences can ignite a fire in anyone. It all depends on how bad you want it, and what you are willing to give up to get it. Most people focus on short term results – as did I. But if you really want something, and you are 1) Unwilling to give up 2) willing to keep trying different approaches – you will find a way.

“Did you have self confidence issues and then decide to go on a personal power trip of dominating women and having mindless sex as an ego boost? Or you really just care about your kindred gender sex lives so much your personal mission in life has become to help your bros and dudes get laid? “

Did I have self confidence issues – yes, at several points in my life. After my divorce and bankruptcy I was scared to death to approach anyone. My first approach after starting to learn all of this my knees shook and my voice cracked – no bullshit. Confidence is the pillar that ALL of these other skills are built. And I had to start at the bottom, building a solid foundation just like most of the guys I teach do.

As for dominating women? That is simply my gift to them. You are talking with a dominant man for a reason. I don’t degrade them, but by allowing them to submit I become the solid rock their tempest of emotions can beat upon that will not move. I become safe to them. I give them the foundation to freely explore their feminine and sexual side. The number #1 fantasy for females is rape, so it’s not like I am leading them down a path they don’t desire, I am simply unlocking the lust and desires most of the them keep locked away. What better gift could I give?

And no, I don’t believe a woman truly wants to be raped. However, I do believe it is an expression of the average woman’s desire to be dominated. No girl I have ever been with has said I fucked them too hard – well, not at least until the next day. Then they simply say they are sore with a satisfied sigh.

As for helping out the “bro’s” – most guys just want to be accepted socially and to have a lover/girlfriend/wife. Most of these men are nice guys that don’t understand the nature of women, so they get blown out of the water often. The fastest way to have a relationship with a woman is to have incredible sex with her. (The fastest way to have incredible sex with her is by making her feel attraction and sexual tension – not the how you touch her but how she feels about your energy) After that, the relationship grows fairly naturally. If I can teach my boys to do that, while keeping the attraction up in her so they are BOTH happy, all while avoiding the soul-crushing shit I have been through, then I will die a happy man.

“Doesn’t the need to dominate and be in power outside and inside the bed just show deep inside someone feels powerless? Not attractive enough? Rich enough? Good or smart enough?”

This really is a great question. Seriously, one gold star for you.

It can. Remember when we talked about the dom or dominant guys that were not very Alpha? This can be a place they come from. When I first started learning attraction I am sure my motive was one of “payback” and take.

However, as I got really good with women – as I really started learning all of these mental road maps and limiting beliefs people have, then my energy became one of positive giving. I don’t dominate girls for the power trip – I do it to give them what they desire. And each girl is a little different. Some like it brutally hard, others just like it a little rough. This is learned as I pay attention to how she responds.

Also, I am not trying to fit every girl into my box – I simply know what most girls like, and the ones I like I offer the opportunity to explore with. If it goes beyond that, great, if not, ok. I enjoy the interaction, but I am outcome independent with each individual interaction.

At some point, when you have fully developed your confidence, you are just enough. You may always strive for better, but inside, you are enough.

Alpha-Line-Divider

“you know I really appreciate you taking the time to explain all these things to me. I was speaking to my school’s football coach today in his office and he is totally exactly an alpha! and I don’t believe in coincidences. let me explain. I took his health class a long time ago, since then I haven’t seen him or heard from him…nothing. then right after we, me and you, started to email each other and I started to delve deeper into this topic bam! we cross paths out of the blue as we pass I smile coyly at him saying nothing and then he asks something and we strike up a conversation. he lets me see him alone in his office hours and he NEVER lets any female students come see him alone in his office…his words. so its pretty cool that I get to learn from two strong sources. of course my conversations with him aren’t as concentrated on a topic as ours are because…well, because…it wouldn’t be professional? although at the same time he seemed really open

laid everything bare any question I asked he answered and even talked about his current relationship with this lawyer he is seeing sharing their texts with me so the dude is open. as an alpha usually is right? nothing to hide, what you see is what you get type of thing? at least I think. also can alphas read female intentions clearly? I mean when I got to his office he asked me what would I like to talk about and I said nothing in particular so he would lead our conversations into intimate relational advice and such without me really asking me anything of the sort. did he read me somehow? are women easy to read from an alphas perspective?

anyways this email isn’t really about him I just wanted to share my experience with you today I though it was interesting how life lines up things for you when you are after something with an intent and effort.

as far as sharing our stories you are more than welcome to after all you have your audience to cater to and if that’s what it takes to get your insight and advice I’ll meet you halfway. my actual name is Natali but you seem to lean towards spelling it Natalie so maybe that’s easier for you to remember or something at your ripe old age of “72” 😛 so lets go with that.

honestly I am truly sick and tired of the mental bullshit and am genuinely interested in learning and bettering myself. so thank you for noticing that. self improvement for me is crucial and I am very passionate about it.

sincerely much.”

Natali,exotic-beach-girl

You are welcome.

For you and our readers – “so the dude is open. as an alpha usually is right? nothing to hide, what you see is what you get type of thing?”

Being open is a personality trait independent of Alpha qualities. The more confident and social a person is, the more open they tend to seem.

As I have stated, men who are good with girls know that preselection works in their favor. A guy being open with you by showing you text from a girl that already is into him is simply being smart.

AlphaX

Alpha-Line-Divider

“ok. i don’t sit around plotting and planning tests for unsuspecting men out there that choose to involve themselves with me on some level. like i shared earlier i don’t really like to do it as it more often than not it ruins my relationships but i do do it because in the moment i get angry at the sensation and feelings of something missing or lacking in him or our relationship… or maybe even at myself for not triggering in him the right things or at least the things i personally desire and want in my SO’s. hmm, i need to reflect on that later lol. you wrote that that’s why wives leave their men because they are betas portraying some alphas traits and once these traits extinguish the women are left frustrated. i don’t know if that’s that but it would explain why some women leave perfectly sweet and normal guys and divorce them for no obvious reason.

now about the energy i bring into an interaction…i don’t want to do all the work. i’m tired of it. what kind of energy exactly is ideal to bring into interactions? honestly i cant always be coy and flirty and giggly and sweet. im a human being i have a big scope of emotions and as a female i claim and relish the inherit right to have a whole range of them at the same time. shouldn’t an alpha be able to handle it all in a stride or he is so mighty and wanted he couldn’t be bothered? honestly, if that’s the case i forfeit my quest of knowledge and understanding because it sounds like a waste of time and a set up to get myself discarded by an uncaring arrogant and self absorbed individual just waiting on the next round of freshly turned 18 year olds.

or is it that if he cares enough he’ll stick around?…which circles back to me again i guess, and my energy huh? i dont want to be fake in my interactions though because that just sounds like trouble build on a fake and shifty foundation. wheres the balance here?

you talk about being a solid rock for the tempest of emotions that every female is brewing to spill filled with sexuality and femininity. you make it sound like you are offering them a safe and ideal haven but they way you talk about your past conquests and the advice you give to your readers it just sound like a sophisticated hit-it-and-quit-it guide. isn’t your gift to women an illusion? or you believe all women are inner wanton whores desperate to have a man pin them against the wall and choke them out through an orgasm only to leave them impersonally and move on ignoring countless of heartfelt requests of something more than sex?

which all leads back to my first question…can alphas read females pretty accurately? is that how and why you can claim to know you just give women what they want? because you know which ones to target? what gives them away? how do you know who wants it and how they want it?

how can i do the same in reverse? i know theres some washed out alphas there and then theres the real deal how can one tell? what sets the true alpha apart from the alpha impersonator or temporary alpha? or the jerk off whos out there just looking for a good jizz and choke session?

sincerely much
n”

Natali,

You are asking a lot of deep questions, and like most of life, the answers really depend on the context.

Yes, I truly believe a lot of perfectly normal, nice, polite, educated and successful guys are left by girlfriends and wives simply because they do not have enough Alpha traits to keep her hypergamy nature in check.

“Because acquiring resources for her offspring is of paramount importance, a woman will try to attract wealthy, high-status men who are willing and able to help her. She must be coy and choosy, limiting her attentions to men worthy of her and emphasizing her chastity so as not to threaten the paternity confidence of her mate.

The lady has been getting more complicated of late, however. As Sarah Hrdy1 predicted, we now have evidence that women, like other female primates, are also competitive, randy creatures. Women have been seen competing with their rivals using both physical aggression2,3 and more subtle derogation of competitors.4 While they are still sometimes coy and chaste, women have also been described recently as sexy and sometimes promiscuous creatures, manipulating fatherhood by the timing of orgasm5,6 and using their sexuality to garner resources from men.”

Women’s Mating Strategies PDF

I did a survey over 10 years ago with over a 1000 responses. Most of the women had no definite answer as to why they left their marriage – they just didn’t “feel” it. Some would cite abuse, physical and mental, but when asked to describe the events they were usually in the context of “he shoved me (after I shoved him)” or “he called me a name (after I started a fight)”. As a society, we throw the term “abuse” around a lot as an excuse to do what we want, rather describe an actual abusive event.

Most of the men really didn’t have a clue why their wife left. The would cite they fought or argued all the time, and how they could never please her.

sexy-water-girlIs being an Alpha the answer? Well, I could have my ex wife and a bunch of ex girlfriends back. I like having all of the options I have. And I love where I am and the relationship I have. If I was weaker, I don’t think my girl would love me (or be faithful or stay) like she does.

“now about the energy i bring into an interaction” – In the context I was writing about, I meant the energy of your intentions – like were you being manipulative for a positive outcome or negative “take” outcome. Keep in mind, everyone brings energy to every interaction and a relationship. There is no lack of energy, just shades of positive and negative, strength and weakness.

“honestly i cant always be coy and flirty and giggly and sweet. im a human being i have a big scope of emotions and as a female i claim and relish the inherit right to have a whole range of them at the same time. shouldn’t an alpha be able to handle it all in a stride or he is so mighty and wanted he couldn’t be bothered?”

Agreed, but you were asking how you set yourself apart. This is getting his attention and increasing your value at the beginning interaction.

An Alpha will handle himself just fine. Remember, you want “him” – the dominant guy, whoever he is. My point in talking with you about what you could bring was to help you stand out and above the average girl.

As for your comment about ” uncaring arrogant and self absorbed individual just waiting on the next round of freshly turned 18 year olds” I actually laughed out loud. That attitude in the Laws of Alpha, Law #1 IS the foundation for the man not to take your emotional tempest to heart.

Tell us, which man is likely to keep you in a relationship?

Man 1) You have a fight and storm off. This guys chases you telling you he is sorry (though he doesn’t have a clue why), and is begging you not to leave.

Man 2) You have a fight and storm off. This guy tells you to be careful but do what you have to do.hitch

I know, if a girl is thinking of a guy she really felt attraction for, then she would pick #1. Reminds me of “Hitch” when he jumps on the car pleading for her to stay. How romantic that he is chasing her . Except this isn’t a movie and that was the biggest lie in the show. We retreat from that which chases us. And a weak man is even more repulsive.

I am man 2, and I teach my readers to be man 2. Knowing there are millions of hot sexy girls available makes it very easy to keep cool and still handle female drama in an attractive way.

” …your readers it just sound like a sophisticated hit-it-and-quit-it guide.”

Another great question and observation.

It is whatever they want it to be.

I don’t teach men to be faithful.

I don’t teach men to cheat.

I don’t teach men to have successful relationships any more than I teach them to leave their relationships – even though I know this information will help their relationships.

I teach men how to be Alpha and to demonstrate qualities that attract and sexually charge females. I am not a moral cop, so what a man decides to do with this knowledge is really up to him.

At one point in my life, I wanted to fuck as many women as possible. Through that experience I learned I didn’t have to cheat, lie or even hide my intentions. I told women straight up, “I don’t want a girlfriend. I am not the guy. I am just a guy that you will have fun with till he comes along.”  Hell, I have told them “I am just going to use you.”  It doesn’t matter.  Logically, reading this, every girl would say they would never be with a guy that said this to them.  I know that to be a lie.  If that guy was making them feel attraction and enough sexual tension, he could say anything and they would be with him.  As a matter of fact, just having the balls to say this to a girl that is attracted to you will increase her desire for you.

Through this I learned that if you create attraction and sexual tension in a girl, she will still fuck you even after you tell her you only want sex. A girl doesn’t have to like you to sleep with you, she just has to feel attraction and a lot of sexual tension.

Now, I am very faithful to my girlfriend. I still like threesomes. I like setting up threesomes and flirting even more. You will have to figure that out, but it works for me.

Keep in mind, whatever person you deal with will chose their own path. Some men will want marriage, some will not. Some will want children, some will not. Some will only date bi girls, and some will not.

A guy is under no obligation to meet your desires. Just like a woman is under no obligations to meet a man’s desires. Each may chose to do so, but they don’t have to. My relating all of this information is to help the average guy see what COULD be – to help him reframe his entire reality.

or you believe all women are inner wanton whores desperate to have a man pin them against the wall and choke them” – Yes, I do believe that. I have never been proved wrong with a woman I have fucked. Have you ever been pushed against a wall, choked while being fucked?  Still excites you, I bet.

“which all leads back to my first question…can alphas read females pretty accurately” – Yes. We know how most females are, so we know what to look for (or we just assume – like the being choked against a wall). We don’t buy into the media portrayal of the perfect snowflake woman that can do no wrong. But just because we can read the situation fairly well, doesn’t mean we are going to act on it.

I tend to be a rather challenging and charming guy in public. I flirt with most semi-attractive girls – old, young, I do not care. I do this because it brings me enjoyment and I like honing my skills. I usually see positive signals that the girl is interested in taking the interaction further – phone number, date, sex whatever. I rarely act on those signals. The only time I do is if she fits the criteria established for a threesome, and she has already said she is bi-sexual.

woman-want-dominant-menAs you know, men judge visual first. But we still have to have an interaction with the female to determine her personality. If the Alpha is looking for a long term relationship, he will be looking for different or more qualities than if he is just looking for casual sex. No one is psychic, and just because my mental model is that ALL women have an inner whore doesn’t mean I will know if she is honest, chaste, faithful or loyal by looking at how she crosses her legs while sipping a cocktail.

 

“because you know which ones to target? what gives them away? how do you know who wants it and how they want it?”

LOL You are killing me. At the beginning of this exchange I told you what I look for in a girl. I don’t target girls or look for damaged ones to control. Religious, educated, rich, poor, broke, strict family or raised by a single parent. Shit, I don’t even care.  For the most part, I was never looking for a relationship.  Most girls like the same things in a guy. We all know girls like confidence – so by showing confidence I am not targeting a girl.

“how can i do the same in reverse? i know theres some washed out alphas there and then theres the real deal how can one tell? what sets the true alpha apart from the alpha impersonator or temporary alpha? or the jerk off whos out there just looking for a good jizz and choke session?”

It seems to me you have a faulty mental frame that most women have. You assume a successful, dominant Alpha man WANTS a relationship. Not all of them do.

The real rub – you can’t know without time and interaction. The subconscious test (shit test) that you employ to weed out weaker men does not typically weed out Players, Pick-Up Artists or Alpha men. Some may handle your test naturally, and some may have learned to handle your test from yours truly – it is irrelevant. You test us, we display mastery and dominance, you feel more attraction. We might just want to fuck you, or we might want to marry you and spend forever.

I always tell men to watch what a woman does, and not to listen to what she says she wants. The truth is, you will just have to watch his actions and you will have to look for actions that relate to what you want.

Most Sincerely,

AlphaX

 

27 Readers Commented

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  1. James on January 18, 2014

    Ugh ….fuckin Hitch, the media, advertising… everything these days is telling young men to become neutered betas. Thanks to Natalie for giving this site a females perspective, or at least questions that run through the female brain relative to Alphas.

    I definitely agree that feminine women are much more attractive than the more masculine types. Long hair, HWR, pretty eyes.. all deadly. I specifically remember when I first learned this about myself. See, I was culturally attracted to this one girl, but evolutionarily speaking…she wasn’t what I was looking for and the two sides conflicted as a result and it didn’t progress the way it should have. It came down to simple attraction, she was amazing in all other ways but there was a sticking point that I couldn’t get past.

    For me, I don’t read this site to fuck a bunch of girls, I am not explicitly using it as a “hit it and quit it guide” either, I am genuinely interested in the interactions of men and women, especially attraction and mate selection. There are people out there who have experienced far more than I have and many of them have acquired a wealth of knowledge, this, I believe, is why AlphaX has chosen to pass on what he has learned. This knowledge isn’t just about sex, it is about personal self development and can be used in many respects of social interaction.

  2. Katrina on July 10, 2014

    “ or you believe all women are inner wanton whores desperate to have a man pin them against the wall and choke them” – Yes, I do believe that. I have never been proved wrong with a woman I have fucked. Have you ever been pushed against a wall, choked while being fucked? Still excites you, I bet.

    I have to disagree with this. Any time a guy constricts my body in any way, especially if he puts his hands on my neck, I feel this insidious numbing pain everywhere in my body; my pulse quickens, and I feel like he’s pulling my heart out through my throat, and I struggle to breathe. I don’t have history of sexual abuse. I just enjoy being treated with respect and tenderness in and out of the bedroom. If I am not, I am out the door ASAP. Most of the time, a guy will text and call many times to apologize. That is when all is good, and we can carry on. But, when a guy doesn’t- like how you teach the men on here – he’s dead to me. Basically, I hope the guys I am interested in or will be interested in doesn’t read your blog because there’s only one thing you teach men that actually works on me, and that is “You are enough.” This is my mindset every second of the day, and you are right to say that women want this in a man.

  3. Danielle on July 26, 2014

    Hmm this is very interesting because I do belive there is a whore in all of us. Some have a harder time showing it so someone who brings that side of us out. But I wonder what triggered the desire to fuck as many women possible? I actually do like the idea of some one pushing me up against the wall, choking me while fucking me, but the tenderness and respect come in the after care? Does some kind of girl kinda like trigger the need to be gentle towards her?
    I always have guys flirting with me and since I am free I so playfully flirt back and some people think I’m a whore. I do have that side of me but that doesn’t mean I give solid reasons why people would think that I am. If I flirt the other person knows I’m not serious would they think they don’t need to respect me if I do respond to their flirting? Yes well I do crave knowledge and looks never have bothered me in a negative way just the actions. If a guy can read me and know what u want with out me having to tell him it would be great.

    • AlphaX Author on July 29, 2014

      You mention many of my observations of what women want… to answer your question: “But I wonder what triggered the desire to fuck as many women possible?” – Nothing triggered it, it is naturally programmed into men. What unleashed it was learning how to be an Alpha so that I had the choice to be with many women.

      PS – Jealous women will always call you a slut while jealous men will use the whore line. It never amazes me how much men are accused of putting women down, when in truth it is women competing among women that creates these putdowns. But I guess only a man being competed over would notice.

  4. Sarah on October 14, 2014

    Hello, How do I send you a photo of me ? Id like to know what you think after reading your article above.

  5. Whitney on November 12, 2014

    Hello, may I send a photo? I’d like to know what you think.

  6. Sara on December 3, 2014

    Hello dear AlphaX
    Would you help me? F19

    I really like this guy, he is 25 , I met him on tinder . I do sent him nudes but when we meet, I refused to have sex with him (I’m virgin). I thought we had something but after that day he told me he only wanted sex. I been thinking about his proposal but I know after sex he will dump me soon or later. Because that is the nature of a dominant. (I mean, they never have just a woman.)

    The questions:

    •What do you think is the best I could do to keep his attention? Or I can’t anymore. I used the photos.

    •AM I DAMNED because I’m virgin OR AM I A PRIZE? I need your opinion

    • Is he likely to never talk with me again because I didn’t sleep with him or what?

    • I don’t have much experience with men but I always thought they were looking for virginal sweet girls and I am all that include the long hair, pink lips and waist hip radio shit. I am Skinny too. Why then if I have the looks, (nice personality) he’s not interested on me for something serious? I feel not good enough for any man and I cry myself to sleep lately. The problem is mine or his?

    •Should I stop looking for a dominant man? All dominant men have the modus operandi: fuck then love?

    • What do you think?

    I am so sorry if you think my problem is stupid but if you can answer me I will be so grateful.

    Have a nice day or night!!

  7. Pingback: How To Attract Women Subconsciously Vs Unconsciously | Secret PUA Blog 10 Dec, 2014

    […] How Do Girls Attract A Dominant Man? – UPDATED | Alpha … – A female reader writes in with this interesting question about Dominant Men: “I was wondering if this is the right email to ask, alphax, a question?… […]

  8. Bri on February 1, 2015

    I don’t have rosy cheeks or pink lips, which are basically characteristics of a fair skinned woman, am I unattractive and undesired? I also noticed all the female pictures were of fair skinned women. What’s wrong with this?

  9. Jhay on April 17, 2015

    Hi Mr. Alpha.
    I have this experience recently with an Alpha guy, and I am so curious about what’s on his mind. I cannot get what he really wants.

    I met him like 4 weeks ago, in the bar by my friend, he is Palestinian guy. But I never get attracted to him the very first time I saw him. He’s not my type actually. yeah, he gave me some drinks because I was just sitting and say something about himself. But I really don’t spend much of my time that night talking to him because he used to go out to smoked a lot. Yes he seat next close to me because the people keep on going out and coming back so we really don’t have the same sit all the night.
    Actually, I met a guy that night, and yeah he kissed me but I didn’t give any signal that I liked this guy.He offered me a drink and I got drunk that he offered me a ride going home, I said yes, but since I was really drunk my friend take care of me and keep me from this guy and hide me in the guy of Palestinian (Ahmed).
    I was really drunk that I keep on saying sorry to them that night.

    After 2 weeks from the first night that we meet, we met again (sorry for my English) and yeah, I feel so awkward and embarrassed to him. I apologize again the second time I saw him. There was nothing special that night until their group asked me to come with them for house party. Since there is nothing much to do and Its something new for me I come with them. We are 2 girls and 3 guys. Alright, there was really no party actually, but they gave me some drink this two guys, thou I don’t want to but I drink it and he actually finished mine. He asked me to go with him outside and he told me that he likes me. What? I was shocked? He started to like me when I came out from his car when I was so drunk and keep on apologizing. He said Im a nice girl, with nice personality and whatever! He told me that he knows that I’ve been through a lot. He knows I have a lot of problems, yeah he is right. That he is tired of the life that he has, he went through a lot. Okay. I didn’t share anything about my life actually. He offered me his room but the other guy offered his room. I got confused but I decided to sleep on the other guy’s friend its safer I think because he will sleep at the couch.

    I asked them if I can sleep because I was sleepy i think it was around 4am. Then, I was sleeping alone and I almost fall asleep when this guy (Sam) went inside and he said he cant sleep, if he can sleep next to me because Ahmed was watching TV. I said ok, since I don’t have a choice and its his room. He put big pillow at the middle andI asked if he set an alarm to dropped me in the morning since I have to work (but Ahmed said he’ll drop me home too). Ok,He was sleeping already because I heard his snore and I went out to pee. I saw him at the kitchen eating. He asked me” How’s your boyfriend”. I said “He’s not my boyfriend”. Whatever, and then I sleep at the couch to cut the issue. I was sleeping when he woke me up and sleep in his room, he said there’s two beds there. I said, no I’m fine. He insisted, I don’t want him to carry me so I come with him. Yeah he let me sleep there and actually he puts blanket and kissed me on my cheeks.
    He told me earlier to wake him up before I go home to kiss him. OMG! I woke up so early because of the lights from the window and he asked me to sleep beside him I said no. He asked twice, Okay, I did. He tried to kiss I try to say no by action. But we still did. We kiss and yeah, he touched my body.

    He drop me home, and yeah, he get my number by the way, I said no first. (as what I always do) but still give it to him. He asked me few questions like if I am dating someone, which is no. or if i like someone. But the truth. NO/None!

    We saw each other again the next day, at the bar. I feel so awkward. But he said “stop acting like a child” we kissed and we touch each others (not really touched mine but I touch yours) he said. So okay. I didn’t go with them that night because I have to work early.

    The next day we met again (sunday) he asked my friend if he can picked me up because he’s stressed because of the thief who took his money.
    That night, he shared something about his life and past.. his married and divorce (but not on papers yet) he has kid, and he knew I have also, I don’t know how did he find out. The way he share in my opinion (he’s looking for some serious relationship) I’m not ready for that. I’m still broke and I don’t trust guys at this very moment. seriously.
    Like he met some woman who wants to settle with, but they broke up. I think he went through a lot and got hurt for many times. I never shared anything about me, I let him share and I just listen.

    Yes, we sleep together but nothing happened that night because I have my period. Actually I’m not ready yet. I never have sex after 2 years actually. Then here it goes.

    He’s not romantic, I know he’s aggressive, he’s not sweet or gentleman. He’s not showy. He wants it to be secret or private. I don’t know if we are committed and I am confused. I know not all who kissed or those who have sex are in a relationship. He keeps on bothering me after that day. I got confused because maybe I starting to like him.
    I use to passed by at the shop where his friend works (he opens a pizza shop and Ahmed is helping him) I stopped by almost every afternoon and he offers me a ride. Yeah, we kissed before I get off from his car.

    What happened next, I sleep in their house again. He told me to “Grow up, cause if you don’t I will not talk to you anymore” He pushed my hair. Seriously, I don’t liked it. He said his a dominant guy. Yeah, I’m afraid but I do expect that there is something that will happen that night. He told me before I should be more on sex. OMG! and he will teach me a lot of things about sex that I never experienced before. Wow, then. he took shower and He forced me to take shower.

    Then ok, he is really dominant, he wants me to do what he really wants and when it comes to bed. I was shocked, I never experienced those feelings before, and I was not really comfortable. You know what he told me? “your the hardest woman I had sex with!” Shit! I’m sorry. I had a body sore until now that never happened to me before. By the way, I’m 24 and he is 34. His really into sex and I am not sure if I can do or satisfy him.

    I don’t know if he is really looking for hook up. What should I do? Do I still continue to see him? I have a very soft personality but I’m stubborn. I’m shy but I know how to follow too.

    He said he wants me to be my partner, is that serious or he just wanted to have sex with me? He saw some scratches on my body and I feel he’s jealous when I said I have sensitive skin. He asked me “Seriously Jhay, where did you get that? from your boyfriend?” Well, I don’t hang out with guys just for hook ups! I asked him few days if he can dropped me at my cousin he doesn’t want to. he wants me to go home and sleep because I have work later. He said he’s not controlling me but If I want to go I can go. He is really confusing.

    I find out that two weeks ago he bring a girl from his house, and I think that’s his girl.

    Sorry if this is so long.
    Can you please give all the possible things to me. Thank you.
    Do I have to continue hanging out with him? Or just stop and that’s it!

  10. A'Jae on April 22, 2015

    I need advice . Well more like I have questions! I have recently unknowingly until now been pursued by a dominant male and I do not know how to approach this man. He’s a good guy though I know and I want to see where we can go. Help

    • AlphaX Author on April 23, 2015

      If you are being pursued, why do you need to approach him? Being pursued means he is inviting you into his life, just say yes and go.

  11. Hmm on May 2, 2015

    30F here, I think this here is a good reason why alpha women and alpha men do not get along.

    I do think it is unfair to say all women like something, but to be frank, I very much prefer to be the one holding someone by the neck and fucking them while they’re crying about how they can’t last much longer, warning me because the guy wants to last longer and can’t.

    There is nothing more sexy than this.

    But I digress, even though I don’t really agree to some things you have to say, what is your thoughts on the rare alpha woman? Have you been around one before?

    • AlphaX Author on May 6, 2015

      I have fucked hot models, doctors, lawyers, rich, strippers, and more than my share of cheerleaders – 100’s of women, all under a size 6 (most a size 2 or 0) and what most people would call extremely sexy. Back before I learned the personality of the Alpha, I did date girls considered Alpha – and most of them bored and left fairly quickly. This hasn’t been the case in the last 15 years. I have not met a girl more dominate or Alpha than me. Since I learned how to dominate and fuck them while pushing all of the emotional triggers you girls are hard wired with, you all turn into wet, puppy eyed, submissive girls. Especially those triggers you aren’t even aware of my pet.

  12. Crystal on June 18, 2015

    You’re very articulate…thank you. Two questions, if you don’t mind.

    1. I’ve been talking to a delicious’ dominant man for 1.5 years over email, talking dirty, sharing pics. Why won’t he meet me? He’s “real”, not pretending to be someone else, but he does have a gf he cares for. I’m so sexually frustrated. I’m married and I’ve never wanted anyone more!

    2. How do you see me attracting dominate men and making sales in my custom suit business?

    • AlphaX Author on July 22, 2015

      He won’t meet you because he either a) thinks he has better or b) isn’t what he says. I love you said your married and hope my readers truly understand that.

      My point of view is you don’t date men from work. http://www.pipubs.com/how-to-get-the-girl-that-works-for-you/ I never mix business and pleasure, too much pleasure to be had without dollars involved.

  13. Amanda on July 8, 2015

    Hello

    I am a 26 year old single mother of a 3 year old little boy, I have had dominate female traits and tend to attract “Beta” Males? Not my choice because I truly desire an Alpha Male, My Sons father is complete Beta and constantly drags himself down to the point of trying to bring me with him (One reason why I rose up to leave).

    I have been learning recently about Alpha Males etc, I feel I relate to Natali in wanting to desperately IMPROVE myself for me but also to attract these Alpha Males. I am a Plus Size woman and have struggled with being more “Tomboy” than Feminine. I Do my best but I am a work in progress and truly wish to gain more femininity traits or at least polish the ones that are hidden.

    I too was wondering if I may send you a picture and receive input, I appreciate so much you sharing the conversation between you and Natali. I must admit I struggle with confidence issues mainly because I see Alpha Males or males in general are attracted to healthy women etc. Though I am dealing with health issues (Hashimotos) I have struggled with weight all my life, Is there ANY advice you can share for Single Mothers (And advice for single moms raising a boy to be Alpha Male?) as well as advice for Plus Size/Full Figured women and recovering Tomboys seeking to be more feminine in regards to Attracting these Alpha Males? Or are we damned until weight is lost.

    Thank You

    Amanda

  14. brandy on August 26, 2015

    I really can’t say that I’ve always attracted Alpha men, I don’t know, but I will say this I do not like men who can’t stand for themselves. Men with no back bone. I know that up until recently I was the female who would presume the dominant role because it comes natural when you are dealing with men who are not dominant, but honestly I hated it because I knew who and what I was looking for but it just seemed like I could never find it. My first rule is to never play games, always be honest with what you want and if it’s sex that you want be frank about it. I don’t like to be romanced just so you can get a little sex. I’ve had men who did that and what happened it toughened me up as a woman. I got to a point where I would say to men who were spitting game, don’t do that, if you want something tell me, if not get out of my face. I am the type of woman who knows just by looking and saying hello to a man whether I want him or not. If not I don’t play around, I just smile and keep it moving. Anyway, now I have been dating a man for a year who tells me he’s an Alpha male. He likes control, that I can say, definitely in and out of bed. However, he plays with my mind at times, so much so that at times it will spark a feud between us and then we have to separate because the one thing about me and feuding is I don’t like it but I’m not a coward, I won’t stand down when one comes on but I notice something, he says something I don’t like and I call him out on it and then we have it out and I end up getting up and walking out because I don’t want to deal with it. The last time this happened though, he lost control and it was the funniest thing to see. :no I didn’t laugh at him, it was just the way it felt. He lost his composure at the same time that I regained mine and he all but threw me out of the door. It just had me tripped out because he was the one who instigated the argument by telling me I needed to go to counseling. The thing is I went to counseling when I was younger and discovered it didn’t do anything for me. I left thinking, there was really no resolution just talk. Now, fast forward to today. I feel like I want to go but not necessarily for the sake of needing a doc, just curious to see what they will say and in a weird way, play a game. I don’t normally play games but since he’s trying to push I was like well if he wants to push I can play this game and own it. Probably not a good idea huh?

    • Snuddy on October 4, 2015

      But yeah your urges to test him harder mean you’re subconciously realizing he may not be the dominant man you fell for and that he needs to be tested. His response to your “games” are going to either raise or lower your attraction to him. You’re going to do whatever feels right anyways.

  15. Snuddy on October 4, 2015

    If he called himself an “alpha male”, and constantly loses temper with you when you, he’s probably very ego-driven and insecure; meaning he’s more on the dominant beta side of things; at least thats what it sounds like.

  16. Luna on October 13, 2015

    The alpha. Controlling but not pushy. Dominant without question.

    Entering the unknown world of Ari. 6’0 tanned skin with a head full of slightly curly hair that he liked to brush back with his manly hands while never breaking eye contact with his ever alluring green eyes. The eyes that called me in further and deeper each time.
    He’s talkative – stories of places I’ve never been to, I want him to invite me with him. He commands the room. I am the best looking but he is the center of attention – I am his trophy. He’s playful and flirty, I enjoy the banter and can keep up but always let him soak up his cleverness.
    He’s masculine, not huge muscles or the deepest voice, just naturally and makes me feel at home in my femininity.
    He notices the feminity immediately and sinks in to his primal side, feeding off my vulnerability and leading me where it is he wants to go.
    He’s a gentleman. He opens the door for me, he grabs my hand in the streets guiding me as if he can tell I’m lost in more than a directional sense. He pulls out my chair, orders our meals, kisses the top of my hand at dinner but keeps that carnal calling in his eyes.
    He shows me a good time, full of laughter, closeness and attraction.
    The bedroom.
    A playground I’ve never been to. Those green eyes widen, fully open now and you know he’s home. My body becomes his at once. My needs are now fully to please him. He grabs me in ways only an alpha can, in a way I cannot and will never say no to. His voice changes, it’s deeper and more animalistic, he grunts at me letting me know he’s happy with my obedience. He is full of power, allowing me to be putty and give in fully to him. It is power and control that roughly puts me into any position, and his demand for me to hold his hand and kiss him that melts me further. The ultimate play of love and fear – our two most basic feelings. I have no control, nor any want for it. I want to be his entirely.

  17. K on December 19, 2016

    You give her these answers as though women do not use the same logic to sleep with you. Natali I don’t think wants to be in a relationship with a dominant man, I don’t think anyone does. They want to have sex with a dominant man. And then they want to leave, and all this crap about societies expectations and rising above standard social interaction is just an excuse for males and females to disregard their sociopathic tendencies. Because as the majority shows women are better at restraint and self control so they at least pretend to be interested in you to feed into your ego, and act very emotional because it makes you feel powerful or in control and that’s how we want you to feel, because that’s how she gets most of you to sleep with her and get better sex when she does (assuming she likes a submissive role). Sure when ‘courting’ someone we are less direct but that’s because we are better at conversation. (when a successful conversation is getting what you want, which is lets face it what conversation is for)

  18. Taylor on February 7, 2017

    I love Alpha males… but you forget to mention the most important aspect of how a woman feels after being dominated… That is, once the sex is over and the man has claimed his prize. Afterwards, a woman needs to be told to relax and gently caressed… even for only 5 minutes. I see it as a man still showing his dominance… and ‘telling me’ to relax. So its about a man still showing his Alpha side but also being sensual (what a woman needs).

    For me, this is the difference between continuing with an Alpha male or ending it then and there!

    • AlphaX Author on February 7, 2017

      Great comment… and that aspect of the relationship is the “comfort” or validation phase. It is a solid relationship component… but not really needed for casual flings. And it can actually be a great way to keep a girl invested in you, as long as it is used as an intermittent reward. If it becomes the norm, it becomes boring and no longer has that positive impact.

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