While I will not spend a lot of time on my background, I do want you all to understand what knowing and using this information in your life can do. I want you to experience the changes that can happen, and I want you to understand what you can overcome.
First, I was short in high school – 5 foot 2 inches at 17. I didn’t grow till I was in college.
I was also skinny – 105 pounds at 17. I lifted weights and tried to be bigger, but that wasn’t in the cards till later. I had a lot to learn about lifting.
I was a bit of a class clown. My father was in the military, and I really hadn’t learned how to have a deep friendship as we moved every 6 months to 2 years. This did force me to learn how to talk, but I always did it the wrong way. I never felt like I fit in with those around me. This led me to be a show off, be rather cocky and hard to get along with.
Now, being a bit of a show off and physically smaller than other boys my age led me to being in many, many fights. I took martial arts and boxing through my early life, even winning a few boxing titles in college – but I got my ass beat a lot early in life. Every school was a new beat down, and even when I won, I still had to go through the pounding.
In high school I did date sporadically. I never dated the really hot girls or even girls my age. I either dated a little older or much younger and usually with girls a little lower on the pecking order. I had sex with a few partners, but nowhere close to what I did later in life. Now, I have had weeks in my life were I bedded more women than all of high school added up – and all of the girls were young and hot.
College was a much better time for me. I grew to 5 foot 9 inches my freshman year. I also built my body up to 165 lbs. I went to an engineering school that mostly had very smart, yet somewhat introverted people. There was not a huge population of girls on campus, something like 7 guys to 1 girl. And while there were a few hot girls on campus, most of the girls were exactly what you would expect at a math oriented college – smart, fat and bitchy.
I dated and did all right in college, being outgoing and in shape really helped in a school of introverts. I also worked as a bartender and a disc jockey for our campus radio station – two positions that naturally help with meeting women.
By my senior year, I had achieved what I thought was some level of success with women. I slept with a lot of women that year (10 or so) and they were all cute and attractive – not the most beautiful in the whole world, but each of them was in the top 30% on the beauty scale.
After college, I started my own company. While my 25 year old friends were getting married or running around the bar scene, I was working 90 hour weeks. I literally slept in my office for 6 months.
After a few years of this, I started making some serious money. And this is when I took my dating life to a new level. I was lucky enough to date some truly beautiful and intelligent women. I had money, success, a cocky attitude and a decent body. I rarely could keep the hot girls interested in me, though. On the surface I looked like the catch of the century, but what I didn’t know was the underlying sub-text communication I was telegraphing or the needy core I still had. And to be honest, I was buying their attention. Expensive dates, like cruises two weeks after meeting them, taking them shopping and dropping a couple of grand. Very, very “beta provider”.
When my business started growing, I felt the amount of money I had would propel me to instant success with women. Now, some of the toys did help. I drove a corvette, a Harley, boats and wave runners. I had my house set up to party with a pool table in the living room, poker table in the dining room, and foosball table in a side room. A hot tub with a small tiki bar and a swimming pool (equipped with remote control boats to race while we were in the hot tub) rounded out the back yard.
Is it true women are attracted to the trappings of wealth? Yes. Not all women, all the time, but as a general rule, women are attracted to success, and wealth can demonstrate success.
To my shock though, I still couldn’t keep the hottest girls I wanted interested in me very long, so I was always looking for the next “miss right now”. Doesn’t seem like a bad gig, but since I never really had it, I was looking for a close, sexual relationship with a stunning woman.
I really learned some bad habits at this time. I had become extremely cocky, focused on what I made money wise, and used my wealth to buy attention from women.
To give you some ideas of my stupidity:
I didn’t buy a drink for a girl – I sent her and her friends a pitcher of shots.
When I met a girl, I immediately bragged about my job, title, wealth, etc.
When I did get a hot girl on a date, I went way over board – first dates with me could be stretched limos, exclusive restaurants (with flowers and champagne). I even took one Hawaiian Tropics Calendar girl on a cruise for our first date. I had to keep upping the “price” of the date to overcome my beta-stench.
Yes, I reeked of successful beta. This is the perfect beta provider, and girls will want to be friends or “date” you, but not fuck you. That is, not till they are knocked up by an alpha and need you to pay for them to raise the child.
Fast forward a couple of years. I met a girl that truly made me “head over heels”. She was 18 at the time, and worked for my accountant. I had never met a woman as beautiful as her. She was shy, and this made me want her even more. I think I assumed shy meant chaste… a horrible assumption.
It took me almost 2 years to even get my first date. I was about 8 years older than her, and when I did have that first date I knew I was “In Love” with her.
I so messed up. I tried buying her, sending her $200 worth of flowers every week. I took her on trips and after she “accidently” got pregnant, I rammed (i.e. begged) marriage down her throat and 6 months later we were married.
Side Note: Beta-Providers with some Alpha traits will be seen by women as potential husbands and typically are the idea guy that most girls say they want. Intelligent, articulate, successful financially – the problem is, women are emotional, and while they can logically look at your “Nice Guy” traits and think “he would be a good partner”, if you don’t have a strong alpha presence that makes her feel sexual towards you, your beta standing will grate at her. She may not be able to put her finger on it, but she is genetically programmed to be sexually charged around an Alpha male. This is one reason so many women get married to beta men who have some Alpha characteristics, then as the men loose the Alpha traits, she gets more disillusioned. Sex decreases, fights go up, and she eventually leaves.
Now, I made every bone headed mistake you could make. I stopped acting like the devil-may-care man she met, and started acting like we had been married for 30 years. I was in “provide for my family” mode, and I reeked of needy. If she got moody, I tried to “Talk about her feelings.” If she resisted, I pleaded with her to open up. When she wanted to go see her family for the weekend, I took it as her leaving, and I begged her not to go. My every move demonstrated my needy and weak nature.
When she became pregnant with our first child, my attitude was even harder on her – no more wild nights at 21 years old and she was stuck with a man that literally sucked the energy out of her. Of course, that’s not what I was trying to do. I had bought into all the incredibly bad advice in our society. Bad advice we will discuss later to be sure.
We fought all the time. I tried talking to her logically and I really tried to find out why she wasn’t happy and how I could fix it. More big mistakes. Rather than connecting emotionally and attracting her, I tried to control and fix us.
8 months after our son was born she ended up leaving me. Thus began my lowest point in life. During that time I felt everything was crashing around me. And to top it all off, the courts ordered I pay all the bills, she primarily had our son, lived in our house, and I had to sleep on a buddies couch.
Within about 2-3 months, she had a live-in boyfriend. Yep, some bartender she met near her mom’s. So those two shacked up, living in my house, with me paying all the bills (about $5-6 grand per month) – oh, and her live in boyfriend had more contact with my son than I did. That so hurt. Think about it. Some bartender was living in my house, with my son and my wife, while I had to pay for everything. And what the hell does a bartender offer that I didn’t?
I just couldn’t figure out how a bartender could seem more worthy than me, a millionaire (at that time). Just my thinking that shows how my personality was flawed. (Later this guy proved to be a chameleon – decent upfront Alpha game, but he was an Omega at heart).
During this time, I started having financial troubles with work as well.
I found myself drinking heavy, living on a buddy’s couch (thanks Kyle!) and just trying to make it each day.
Then came the dot com crash. Right after our divorce was final I had to file an $8 million dollar personal Chapter 7 Bankruptcy.
I had lost my wife, wealth, status – everything. Well, I was awarded Primary Custody of our son, but only because of all the stupid decisions she made violating court orders. And right after our divorce she gave birth to a beautiful little girl. The bartenders little girl.
That is when I looked in the mirror one hung-over morning and decided it was time to make a change. If I were honest with myself, there was only one common denominator in all of my failed relationships or business efforts. And that was ME!
I was out of shape, demotivated, and completely beaten. No longer cocky, no longer confident, no longer driven to achieve anything. I turned to the church, and basically got the “God works in mysterious ways” comment. I wasn’t happy, and I hadn’t even kissed a girl in over a year. That misery, loneliness and dare I say, hate of what I perceived my ex had done to me started to burn a fire in me. A fire to prove I could get back up and do even better.
So, I decided to learn everything I could about relationships, dating, mating, and seduction. I studied sociology, neuro linguistic programming (NLP), and behavioral psychology. I read many of the dating guru’s information and absorbed everything I could. That path took me down some best adventures of my life and I learned some of the most powerful concepts that exist.
I kept a journal of all my results. I would go out for an entire day, pick one attitude or psychological state and go talk to women – just to see how they would react. Old, young, ugly, hot – I didn’t care, all I was doing was studying human interaction. And little did I know, I was challenging my underlying belief system. Those subconscious programmed responses we all have.
Within 1 year, I was dating some of the hottest women you have ever seen. By the second year, I was dating more girls at the same time than I had dated my entire life (all put together). I was 34 and I was dating women between the ages of 18 to 25. There was the occasional 30’s something, but for the most part it was the hottest women, in the prime of their lives, with very little baggage.
Hot women. Women that turned heads. Women that get hit on about 1000 times a day. I was still broke, had no toys (hell I drove a VW diesel Jetta), and these sexy young women were chasing me. Alpha rules!
At one point during a long visit, my mom confronted me about my “terrible dating choices”. She kept asking me “What could you possibly have in common with that 18 year old, blonde, hair to her ass, blue eyed, narrow hipped, round titted, Rodeo Queen? (ok, not her exact words, but the adjectives were implied)”
“Uhmmm, she wants to keep fucking me.”
My dad’s response was priceless one time at Christmas. My entire family was giving me shit for my 20 year old date. My aunt asked “Why do you keep dating such young girls?”
My Dad: “Because he can!”
“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?” ~ Sigmund Freud
“The great question is answered. A woman wants to feel attraction and surrender to an Alpha . That deep, gut level, racing heart impact of attraction that ignites a fire in her loins and moistens her most sacred holy of holies. Boredom is the kiss of death.” ~Alpha X
And women feel attraction for Alpha male traits. The more traits you demonstrate, the more attraction she has for you. Attraction with an emotional connection and a girl will do anything and everything you want.
Just to wrap the story up: Without either of us trying, or really wanting to, my ex-wife and I ended up back together. During our separation and divorce, she had learned a few lessons and grown as a woman. I reinvented myself, doing my best to remove the negative traits and limiting beliefs that I had, and replacing them with new habits and skills that are extremely attractive to women (not to mention very useful in business).
I used many of these underlying beliefs and went on to being very successful in business. However, I made a critical mistake with her. I still believed in the “soul mate”, and best friend in marriage crap – so I continued to let my Alpha side slide, and became a more “tamed” husband. And guess what happened? You got it.
She left again. This time she moved to the upstairs bedroom till we had split assets and cash. Two weeks after she left she moved a homeless (sleeping with his sister and brother in law) unemployed guy in. They blew through 6 figures in cash in under 8 months. She ended up moving back to her moms about 5 hours away. Our son lives with me, again.
And that is when I dove even deeper into what I had learned. I spent even more time studying. At the time of this writing, I am 42. The oldest woman I have dated in the last two years is 23. Current girlfriend is 21 and hot in a realm that’s hard to believe. All of them were hot, sexual and fun. Not to mention female and full of drama! Seriously though, I have had more sex in the last 24 months than I have had in my life. And I have learned even more valuable secrets that I am passing on to you know.
So if my little story didn’t scare you off, then enjoy the journey.