Ever see a girl that knocked your socks of… but you couldn’t think of anything to say? Rather than go attract her with your awesome personality you watched her walk away… never to be in your life again?
Or even worse… ever see a gorgeous woman that made your heart flutter only to turn and leave because you felt YOU weren’t GOOD enough for HER?
Well, you my friend might just be a gigantic pussy.
I know this for a fact…. I was too at one time.
This is the biggest area of my internal attitude that I have worked on for the last 20 years.
Just working on my internal fears and limiting beliefs.
But I can show you how to overcome your fear of rejection and failure in a matter of days.
The State Of Fear
I get a lot of emails about “what do I do if she does this…?”
“What do I do if she doesn’t text back?”
“What do I do if she gets mad?”
I get it. There was a time I started off and I had these fears and concerns too. I was always worried about saying things just right, or using the exact routine to make the girl like me.
As a millionaire I had so many hot girls use me and walk away after the first date or two I was terrified of trying to date again after I lost my wealth. I didn’t think I had anything to offer them.
I have coached a lot of people to do a lot of different things in life and the Fear of Rejection or Fear of Failure (which is basically the same thing to me) are the Number 1 reason so many people struggle in life.
These fears prevent great and successful men from attracting the girls they want to be with.
These are the same fears that prevent great guys from approaching girls they like.
Removing these fears and just being “present” is what is called the “Winners Zone” in sports.
I am going to give you three things right now that will help you to overcome these fears in no time at all. Getting rid of these fears is the beginning of you getting ANYTHING you want in life.
There are 3 Steps to Overcoming Fear and Rejection
- 1) Reframe the fear in the consciousness
- 2) Train the subconscious to accept the reframe
- 3) Reinforce the subconscious change.
Now, this can be done in a matter of moments… but usually takes a few days to start the change, and weeks to cement the change into a permanent change.
Reframe the Fear in the Consciousness
Most fears are irrational. We fear approaching the gorgeous girl because in our mind we place too much value on her… and not enough value on ourselves.
Most guys will have an internal dialogue like this one: “I’m not good looking enough to get an attractive woman.” OR “She would never be attracted to someone as: old, young, poor, short, tall, bald, fat, etc… as me.”
A few easy reframes that you can mentally say to yourself are:
“I have seen gorgeous women like her with men as: old, young, poor, short, tall, bald, fat, etc… as me.”
“Is it not true that I have seen men who are much worse looking than I am with attractive women?”
“Is it not true that women place more value on personality than looks/money/other issue?”
“Is it not true that I have attractive qualities that at least one attractive woman could admire?”
And so on.
The idea is to break the conscious mind from building up a wall against what you want using fear. By reframing, we consciously decide that other possibilities could be true.
Just reframing limiting beliefs is not enough though.
Have you ever told yourself “I am a great guy and catch any woman would want” only to have subconscious voice in your mind say things like:
“No you are not…”
“Then why don’t you have beautiful woman in your life?”
And back to the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs you go.
You can literally feel your mood become grim.
That brings up point #2.
Train the subconscious to accept the reframe
The subconscious is an amazing tool that allows us to focus on one task, while preforming dozens of other.
For example, have you ever had a challenge or problem for school, work or life that you kept thinking of solutions too?
Let’s say it was a work problem, something you knew you could solve, but hadn’t yet. You get this problem just as you are leaving to go home. You let your mind focus on trying out different solutions and letting your mind wonder what the potential outcome of each solution could be.
All of a sudden you are home.
You don’t remember getting in the car…
Turning out of the parking lot…
Merging with all the traffic…
Or dozens of minute details about the trip home.
You are just home.
That is your subconscious taking over and taking you home.
That same mechanism can not only be engaged, it can be trained so that you actually operate “on autopilot” and naturally.
You can do some research on this, but advertisers have used subliminal messages to influence the subconscious to make you react to advertisements.
Film makers use subliminal messages to elicit strong subconscious and emotional responses in you towards their movies.
The Air Force uses subliminal training for drone pilots to help their subconscious mind quickly identify friend vs. foe on the battlefield.
If you have read any “Law of Attraction” or “Think and Grow Rich” they recommend writing down your desired outcome and reading it from your card several times a day.
This approach is to force, by willpower and mental repetition, the subconscious mind to believe the desired outcome… in this case a lack of fear.
This takes a while, and requires a lot of effort.
Personally, I am lazy, so I found a trick on how the change your subconscious mind very fast.
Subliminal Programs. Just prerecorded messages you want your subconscious mind to accept and operate on.
The messages are recorded just above the conscious ability to hear… but the subconscious mind can hear them and understand them.
I simply listen to subconscious programs on all of the things I try to improve in my life. And I started using these techniques 15 years ago to overcome my own perceived weaknesses and fears.
But there is still one more step…
Reinforce the subconscious change.
This is where the rubber meets the road so to speak.
Anything programmed in your subconscious has been accepted as a “true” sub routine.
What I mean by this is your subconscious can and will do what it believes to be true.
So, if you are telling yourself you are not an attractive man, and you will never overcome your fear of rejection, you will never approach, and likely never have any success with women.
And you subconscious mind see’s this feedback loop as “true” and you will never develop the personality or vibe of the man that has women approach him.
But, as you are listening to the subliminal programs you will tend to feel opportunities to act. To say or do something you normally wouldn’t…
You know, like Challenge, Flirt…. Or dare I say, even approach the girl and get an instant date.
If you are a guy that feels a lot of stress when wanting to meet, approach, talk to or date a woman you see as hot, then you have no idea how big the world.
I could tell you stories of how I have simply told a girl “No” to one of her commands, not backed down while laughing at her only to have her blowing me in the bathroom within 15 minutes.
It won’t make sense to you if you haven’t experienced.
But it is the truth.
So as you listen to the subliminal programs you HAVE to pay attention at how you naturally change.
You do these 3 things, and you will never feel powerless to fear or rejection again.
I know… I have had to work the hardest on this area. More than anything else in my life.