Imagine two men are in a social setting with a fairly even mix of males and females. Both men are fairly good looking, both are dressed similarly, and both have about the same financial success. Let’s call them Man 1 and Man 2.
In this social setting is a fairly attractive young lady who is sitting alone.
Man 1 approaches her with an easy opener, smiles confidently and has good eye contact. He is not nervous at all, and he starts the conversation with the normal chit-chat. He ask her many questions about herself and life. Through the conversation he displays many traits that demonstrate his character. He agrees with her opinions frequently, opens a door for her on the way to the patio, pulls out her chair, buys her a couple of drinks and even offers an appetizer. He laughs at her jokes and speaks passionately about riding motorcycles as it is one of his favorite past times. When she says how much she likes motorcycles, he promptly offers to take her riding. They both discuss life, travels and the adventures they have been on. After about an hour, Man 1 realizes he has to leave. He ask for the woman’s number which she freely gives to him. As he is pulling out of the parking lot he text her, “Thank you, it was wonderful meeting you and I can’t wait to see you again.”
A few minutes after he leaves, Man 2 approaches her with an easy opener, smiles confidently and has good eye contact. He is not nervous at all, and he starts the conversation with the normal chit-chat. Very early in the conversation though, he starts to tease her, make sexual innuendos, and misinterpret her statements in a charming way. When she makes a statement he doesn’t agree with, he playfully let’s her know he doesn’t agree. When she suggest they go to the patio he declines. When he is ready for another drink he ask her to get him one. When she makes a lame joke he simply looks at her. As they discuss life, travels and adventure, he talks about his feelings in areas without giving away too many details. When he does discuss his passion of riding motorcycles and she tells him how much she likes motorcycles he offers to take her for a ride – if she pays. After about an hour, Man 2 decides to leave. He tells the woman to take his number and gets hers. He thanks her for the drink and leaves.
Which guy won?
If you said Man 2 you would be correct.
Because he was a challenge. And if you don’t get anything else, just understanding this one concept can increase your success with women 1000%. Challenging women, especially in today’s feminized world, is an art that most men have never even heard of, let alone tried.
A Challenging Man
Being a challenge is the #1 thing you can do to stand out from other men in a woman’s mind. In a bar, at a club, at work, at the gym, in the grocery store, at the cafe, anywhere you can think of.
I know, most men think if they were wealthy or famous they would have it made. But the truth is, men who have wealth or are famous tend to be more of a challenge anyway since they are in demand. And here is another little truth, those rich and famous men tend to get dumped just as much as regular men.
Why is that? Because once the girl is with them, the automatic challenge filter they had from wealth or success is removed and the average man doesn’t understand how important challenge is to a woman.
Most guys are very easy with women, and most hot women know they can get a man anytime they want. Even the most average girl has men approaching her on a fairly regular basis.
Have you ever even thought of what it is like to be an attractive woman? You have probably thought it would be great, all these men buying you things and asking you out with little to no effort on your part. But keep in mind the different mating strategies of men and women. Men are programmed to be sexually stimulated by visual cues – height, weight, hip-to-waist ratio, breast size, hair length, etc. It really is all about the physical attractiveness of the girl.
But women are attracted to character cues. Sure, they may see a man with a certain look they like, but as soon as that man opens his mouth his words and more importantly his beliefs as demonstrated by his actions and feelings are what will attract her – or repulse her.
So if you are the woman and you are attracted to character cues, what would you feel with every man being so easy to you?
The answer is BORED.
Have you ever had a girl that REALLY liked you? She tried desperately to be with you? She called too much, she text too often, she bought you cards and did anything you wanted. How did that make you feel? Now take that feeling and multiply it times 100 and you may now know what a woman is feeling when you are not a challenge. And this is what they mean when they say the “guy is too nice.”
No challenge = too nice. And that equals “Let’s Just Be Friends“, or if taken to the extreme you become that “weird creepy guy.”
A woman has no way to know what your true character is. She has to use a few moments of interaction with you which she filters through her life experiences [mental roadmaps] to determine if she is going to spend time with you or not. Lots of parts matter, some a little and some a lot, like looks, body language, humor, eye contact, etc. But the big one is how much of a challenge you are.
Women are most excited by a man who they perceive is of higher value than themselves. No matter how nice you are, if you aren’t challenging her then you are demonstrating through your actions that you believe she is of higher value. The more you do for her and the more you try – the lower in value to herself you look.
If a man values himself so low in comparison to a woman that he does whatever she asks of him, always complies with her and supplicates to her, she will lose all respect for him as a man. This will happen in the first 5 minutes of the interaction, or in the 5th, 10th or more years of marriage. No matter what the man believes, if he is too easy too often, he is demonstrating lower value. He has demonstrated to her that she is superior to him, so her hunt for an attractive, strong man must either continue or start again.
Now, this is great news. It can give you a huge advantage when you are meeting women and will likely turn the tables into her chasing you.
What A Challenge Feels Like
It took me a long time to figure out exactly how to become a challenge in a woman’s eyes. When I first started trying to challenge women, I did it in a competitive way. This may be how to challenge a man, but this is not what we typically want to do to challenge a woman.
If you ask a female what a man who is a challenge is like she will likely tell you:
- He isn’t too nice.
- He doesn’t always do things predictably.
- He isn’t always available.
- He doesn’t tell you how he feels.
- He keeps you guessing.
The simple truth is this is the exact opposite of how most men act. If you can get her to see you as a challenge you will rapidly boost her attraction for you. It has always been human nature to want what we can’t have. By not falling into a role that she is use to most men falling into is enough to get her to chase you.
Easy is boring.
Challenging is attractive.
Challenge Starts At The Meeting
And this starts from the very beginning of the interaction. If she doesn’t even know who you are, then not paying her a lot of attention isn’t going to register as you being a challenge. You still have to interact with her.
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