I have been writing on Yahoo Answers some lately and this is by far the second biggest question guys ask. And most of the answers these poor souls receive suck. Too many girls telling them to just be patient and too many guys telling them to “next” the girl.
A few people reference articles on AskMen or the Huffinton Post for some rather vanilla answers. One of the things I have noticed about advice sites is they come in 3 flavors:
The most popular flavor is by the far “it sounds politically correct and like it should work”. I E, Yahoo, Huffinton Post, Cosmo, etc. These are the “just tell her how you feel” and “don’t try to kiss her till the third date” crap. This is what 99% of the mainstream women writers spout. And it only works 1% of the time (and I am being generous.)
The next site is a typical guy dating site where he knows a few GAME tactics, and will give advice that is usually solid, if incomplete. These are the AskMen and PUA sites. See, a lot of Game and PUA dating advice talks about some of the lines or maneuver you should use, but not the why (the attitude) of how it is done. This is the “don’t be needy, just be cool” advice.
Then you have a few sites like mine. Wildly controversial as we expose both the bad mating habits of men, and the hidden deviant secrets of the female sex. Ahhh, I love this spot.
So let’s shine the big spot light of truth on the FRIEND ZONE.
The Friend Zone is a mainstream term meaning the member of the opposite sex rejects your advances in an off putting “Let’s Just Be Friends” Manner. When someone you are interested in tells you:
“Let’s Just Be Friends”
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
“I don’t think of you that way, you are like a brother”
“I love you, but I am not in love with you.”
Or anything close to this they are telling you in as nice a manner as possible “You have created no attraction in them and you have built no sexual tension. They know you like them, but they do not like you in a sexual way.”
Now, I can guess why – you were too nice, sweet, head-over-heels, wound up, stuck on this one girl so you didn’t want to blow it and take a risk.
Telling a girl how much you like her isn’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Being nice to a girl isn’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Writing a poem to a girl isn’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Sending her a cool selfie isn’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Writing a piano concerto for her isn’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Giving her a necklace/flowers/candy/bracelt/car (WTF) aren’t going to make her feel attracted to you.
Yes, these were all questions & suggestions on how to get a girl to like them. Sure, she will like you – just like a friend but these actions don’t build attraction.
If you haven’t already built attraction in her then none of this will work. If she already feels attraction and sexual tension for you, then why would you even bother with this crap?
So What Is The Cure For The Friend Zone?
You can get out of the friend zone, but it takes a little work. Let’s be honest, if you were already an Alpha, you wouldn’t have to deal with this shit. So you are going to have to learn how to be Alpha with women. In addition, here are your steps. I have used this many times, and I have intentionally put myself in the friend zone as to not startle other girls I was sleeping with. As those relationships fall away, I would use these tactics to get out of the friend zone.
1) You have to realize YOU, and you alone, put yourself in the friend zone.
2) You have to remove all fear. Weak, shy, scared men do not make the female sex weak in the knees or her holier of holies wet. Realize you have already blown this interaction, so just say fuck it. You have nothing to lose now.
3) Do not tell her ANYTHING. Do not tell her you are “in the friend zone but you are going to change it and win her” or “how much you like her” or anything.
4) You have been pursuing her, that has to stop. You need to pull way back on the reins of contact with her.
Follow my rules for texting and phone game. She needs to contact you first, and contact you more. If you are texting/calling/chatting with her first you are taking away a very fun part of the game for her – her getting to win you.
If she doesn’t actually keep in contact with you as you wait for her to contact you, you will have to reengage. Wait a 2 weeks with no contact then send her an image like this with an open loop of, “This reminds me….”
All of these images are “classy” as they are black and white or antique, they aren’t too hardcore (that leaves a lot to the imagination) and they show a man dominating a woman. This is PERFECT.
Her curiosity is going to be off the charts of how that image “reminds you” of anything about her. Don’t explain just start with the cocky & funny and tease her.
5) As you interact you will start increasing sexual tension. You are going to say and do sexual things. No more eunuch for you.
What do I mean by increasing sexual tension? Well, this entire site is focused on building confidence, learning how to increase attraction and building sexual tension. A couple of examples would be interjecting sexual comments into the communication very fast and fearlessly. It has to seem like the most natural thing in the world (which is why you have to remove all fear) or you will end up giving a girl the “ick” feeling. That is how girls refer to men that creep them out.
Some of my favorites:
She sees you for the first time in several days and says, “How are you?”
You say, “Fantastic… but I practice a lot, how are you?”
This is a smooth and subtle transition into a sexual reference.
She says, “My friend Lisa is coming over.”
You say, “You want me to cum over you and Lisa…. usually I charge, how much money do you have?”
This goes sexual, but puts her in the assumed role of trying to get you.
Literally take anything she says and assume she is talking about sex and that she wants you.
She gets mad, huffy or test your new found balls – “I don’t like it when you talk that way”
You say, “Bad girl, go to my room. I will be there to punish you soon.”
No matter what, you do not apologize and you don’t back down. Remember, you are already in the friend zone which means no sex for you. If sex is the ultimate goal (don’t lie to yourself, her or me – if you just wanted to be friends, you wouldn’t even be reading this) and you aren’t getting sex, you really can’t screw this up anymore. So have some fun while you are building that sexual tension.
If she playfully calls you an asshole while punching your arm, you are doing it right.
6) You have to become a challenge. No more being nice or going out of your way for her. Let her, or even tell her, to go out of her way for you. Leave her wanting more from your interactions. Learn exactly how to get her to feel she doesn’t own you and you are your own man.
7) You now have to bring in some fear and jealousy. I know most of you don’t have a clue about using these tools to allow a woman to feel all of the delicious waves of drama and longing she craves, but if you open your eyes you will see just how much women LOVE these feelings from their men.
So go find a really hot girl and pick her up. Date a hot chick in front of her. Invite her to have a drink with you and show up with another girl. When you are out with her, go get another girls number in front of her.
All of these demonstrate confidence, an understanding of the sexual game, your Alpha credentials and they all demonstrate High Value.
She may get mad, but never apologize or back down. If she does get mad you TEASE her about it…. something like, “Wait, we are just friends… right” said in a slightly sarcastic tone. If she still is acting mad -which is a great sign – this is a shit test to really see if you are all of a sudden this strong of a man or if you have been reading some Alpha’s blog and you are going to cave – you just need to accuse her of “trying to ruin a perfectly good friendship” while getting a little pissed off. Don’t argue, just get pissed and end the interaction.
You see, if you get pissed in a jealous or needy way, you will push a girl away from you. If you get pissed in a “I don’t need this shit” way she will start to get worried about losing you. Getting pissed isn’t bad, it just matters as to WHY you get pissed.
The Transition From The Friend Zone
If you have done everything I have written you will be a better man. The last piece of the puzzle is the transition from her being your friend to being your slut.
If you have done all of this correctly, she will likely have already made a move on you. As you are flirting with her in a cocky and funny manner she will grab you and kiss you. Honestly, half the time I have done this, the girl makes the first move. All you have to do is keep building attraction in her while creating sexual tension. There will be no resistance on her part at all.
However, being that you are likely just learning this, you are not going to nail the attraction and sexual tension part. You keep doing all of the things we have written here, but you start treating her like a girl you are sleeping with. You don’t ask her on a date, you tell her where to meet you. Follow my system for dates and sex and you will be fine.
Lastly, if you actually try this, you will find it really works. You will likely have several girls banging you while you get out of the friend zone with her. Rather than let her make the first move, or meeting her for a drink, tell her “My girlfriend X thought you were kinda sexy. Meet me at my place at 8, wear a skirt…. and no underwear.” The threesome is taboo for most girls, and most guys do not have to balls to just put it out there. Just telling her this will get her wet thinking about you. Oh, and you have a better than 50% shot at the threesome.