The real question for most men is more like “How do I get a hot and cool girlfriend”? If you don’t care what she looks like, getting a girlfriend is EASY.
Of course, you do care what she looks like and who she is, which means you now have competition… that would be the other men that also care.
I still think this mentality is wrong… if you really want that perfect person in your life you have to have the right attitude. So the questions should be “how do I attract a hot and cool girlfriend that moves my life forward”?
Trust me – nothing is worse than having a hot and cool girlfriend that wants to tear you down, rather than move you forward.
Step 1 – Understand the Girl’s Mind
At a basic level you have to understand a woman dates UP. She is programmed to seek a man that is of higher PERCEIVED value than she thinks she has.
I say it is PERCEIVED value, since it is subject to “feelings” and point of view.
Ever see the hot girl with a douche bag and wonder… what the hell does she see in him? He is triggering attraction and making her feel sexual tension. That makes him seem like a higher perceived value man than the “nice guy”, the model guy or even the rich guy if they all kiss her butt.
Making a girl feel attraction is the key to her wanting to be with you.
You accomplish this by doing those things that High Status Men do.
Step 2 – The Mindset
This is a big step, and one where men fall short all the time.
The basic mindset is “I am the prize.”
Not her…. You. If you go into this interaction immediately assuming she is “better” than you or “out of your league” she will feel your energy, know you are a lower status man, and reject you. That is usually accomplished by putting you in the Friend Zone.
I know… most men don’t feel like they are the prize. This is where you need to remove the rose-colored glasses and start seeing reality for what it is.
Think of it this way…
Is she faster than you? Stronger? Bigger?
If there is a spider, a rat or a snake in the house – who is killing it?
Do you earn more than her?
If you go out on dates, who is protecting her, paying for the drinks and escorting her around?
Who has to listen to more drama? Are you going to whine to her, or is she going to whine to you?
And those are just the basics. You can drop me off in any city in the world and I will have more friends, better business and more money than her in a very short time.
You really ARE the prize.
Step 3: Meet Her
To me, this is one of the easiest steps. I meet girls all the time. At lunch, at dinner, in the grocery store, at the range, in the gym, getting my dry cleaning, at the gas station, etc.
Everywhere I go I see girls that I find visually appealing and might like to meet.
My openings depend on the situation, but are usually some Cocky & Funny observation about her, the situation or the environment. Anything besides a compliment and plain niceness.
Actually, with a lot of girls I use a sexual tension opener…
I see her and say, “Hey, how are you?”
Most of the time she says, “Good, how are you?”
Now this is the part that will really set you apart…
You say, “Me? I am FANTASTIC… at least that’s what the girls tell me.”
Bold? Double Check.
From there chit chat, tease her, or just say… “I think I would like to talk to you again… what is your number?”
Or if you really want to judge how into you she is, tell her to take your number and send you a text. IF she does, you are likely in… if not; you would need to boost her attraction more.
Step 4: The Lovable Asshole
Girls dig men that challenge them, tease them, are bold, confident and that other women want.
Practice teasing women. Practice joking around. Stop saying sorry.
And talk to most women. Even if you aren’t interested, the more girls that like you, the more and hotter the girls that will like you in the very near future.
I use a lot of bold cocky & funny, but you can be direct and bold too.
If you are teasing and flirting with her and she starts crying and runs home while calling you an asshole, you are probably being too mean and not funny enough.
If she kind of punches you in the arm while saying, “You are an asshole” and in slightly exaggerated emotions she smirks, you are on your path to having any girl you want.
Girls HATE boring. They don’t want nice and easy. They want Drama. They want to wonder what you are up to, where you are, and who you are with.
Step 5: Be Busy (& In Demand)
It really is true… girls love a man that other girls want. Why do you think so many actors and musicians are desired? Even new musicians playing in front of local crowds have local girls that want them.
The girls want the social status of having what other girls want.
This is called preselection, and can work wonders in your favor when you have several girls that want you – you won’t believe how many more girls will all of a sudden want you too.
But what if you don’t really have anyone that wants you yet?
Get busy and look like you are in demand.
There are all kinds of guidelines for this, but let’s discuss the basics. You should be going to the gym, working on a couple of hobbies, and building your wealth (even if that means school).
I don’t respond to new girls (and most familiar girls) while I am at the gym.
I rarely even carry my phone when I am at the range, which is 1-2 days per week.
I don’t text, answer or call a new girl on Friday or Saturday. I might respond to her late Sunday.
Yes, I have met a new girl that has text me on a Saturday afternoon and wanted to get drinks. I have intentionally not looked at the text or replied till Sunday night or Monday. By delaying my desire just a day or two, I usually build a lot more attraction in her. To the point they start chasing me.
Step 6: Make Her Chase You
I know this one flies in the face of most of the bullshit articles and advice in the world… because it just doesn’t sound right.
But this WORKS. And I don’t care about sound right, I care about getting what I want.
Like my last example above, a confident and charming man that teases, doesn’t make apologies for who he is and that looks like he has girls that want him will find that by ignoring a girl (on purpose or really being busy) will make her start to chase you.
She will want to feel the emotions you gave her, and she will wonder why her sex and beauty doesn’t have your groveling at her feet like every other Soy-boy in our world today.
I go out of my to spark attraction then withdraw for a short time. It’s like taking a drug. The girls want the drug more, and when they can’t get immediate attention from you, they let their mind roam.
The best way to have a girl wanting you is for her to constantly be thinking about you without your interference.
A girl chasing you can’t really dump you, can she?
Step 7: Spend Time With Her
A date should be no more than you two getting together for a couple of hours and then hooking up.
In my world, that is usually meet for a couple of drinks near my place, then if I have built attraction and she is digging it, I simply invite her back to my house for a glass of wine and a movie.
The concept is super simple, so don’t over think this. If you try to impress her by spending lots of money on her and taking her to do fun an exciting things you will likely have the conclusion I had doing the same thing.
Blue balls and less money.
A real simple way to get around dinner and movies is in HOW you ask. This can be done by text or phone… and this is the jest of it.
You: “What time are you eating dinner?”
Her: “Probably around 7. Why?”
You (don’t answer the question, instead): “So you will likely be done by 9, yes?”
Her: “Yes, I should be.”
You: “Great meet me at X place at 9:30 for a drink.”
That’s it. If a girl will not either come to your place, let you come to her place or meet you for a drink, she is not that into you.
All is not lost, but you need to amp the attraction in her.
Step 8: Hook Up
After the first or second date, she should want to at least make out with you. I am rather experienced at this, so usually by the 2nd meet for drinks she is ready to sleep with me.
Don’t be thinking about this from an “I hope she wants to kiss me…”
Screw that. Your mindset is “Every girl wants to bang me, now prove you are worth my time.”
More often than not, with this mindset the girl will easily make herself available. If she is feeling attraction for you she will got out of her way to touch you, kiss you, and even make it known she wants you.
Step 9: Decide If You Want Her
Having a girlfriend is a pain in the ass. Not as much as having a wife, or a live in, but still a pain.
When I first started learning how to build attraction in women, I just wanted a girlfriend.
I found, once I got good at building attraction I didn’t want just one girlfriend. I wanted a dozen.
And I dated a dozen for many months. Most of the bisexual.
If she feels attraction for you and has banged you, you are in.
Do not try to force or even ask her into a relationship. You should really not be sure if you want to lose your freedom.
She has to feel like she is wining you over from all the other women. She has to ask you, “What are we?” or “Where is this going?”
She also has to say she likes you, loves you and wants you FIRST.
I have a standard line for the first time a girl tells me they love me…