Back when I was learning pickup we were even taught to lie to women. You know, when she ask what you do, you tell her you are either an aspiring actor, rock musician, Doctor or some other career with perceived high value.
I never felt congruent doing that, so I never stuck with those routines. Nor do I teach them. For the most part I prefer the “brutally honest” approach. Asking me questions you really don’t want to hear the answer to can be dangerous. And fun for me.
But what do you do if you catch a girl in a lie?
Well, it really depends on what you want out of the relationship. And what type of lie it is.
To truly be able to answer this, you just need to truly understand what you expect from the interaction or relationship with the girl. Everyone wishes she had not lied, but now that she has, what do you want from the interaction?
The more Alpha you become, the more lies you are going to catch women in. As I have said many times, 60-70% of the women I have slept with had a husband, fiancé or boyfriend at the time we had our fun. And most did not share this information with me till well after the sex. Actually, most lied that the husband, fiancé, or boyfriend was an ex – when in reality the men did not know that – yet.
So let’s assume this is a girl you like, and you are dating and intimate with. And let’s use the “potential cheater lie”. You know, this is where your girl tells you she was somewhere, with a group, doing something till a certain time and you find out there is no fucking way she there at that time doing whatever because the business was closed.
What is the first thing that pops into your head? She is cheating.
It is a normal reaction, and one most people with normal dating lives have felt.
So what do you do?
Before my PUA days I would have exploded. I would have become so angry I would be close to violence. I would break up with her, throw her shit away and never talk to her again – as I did with an ex-girlfriend in college.
In my PUA days I caught a lot of girls in lies. I would still get butt hurt and try to lecture the girl on “how disrespectful that is” and “she should treat me better”, etc. This always felt weak but we were taught you had to punish bad behavior. I agree with that, but lecturing, yelling or any form of violence is not going to punish her or teach her a lesson. Actually, it likely justifies her decision.
In these past situations I think I was subconsciously trying to create enough guilt or shame in her so that she would beg for forgiveness and be more submissive. It may have worked for a very short time, but did not work for the long run.
What Is Your End Game
The crutch of the argument is what your end game is.
When I am just dating a girl, I encourage them to date other men. I literally don’t care. No jealousy on my side, I am not trying to “lock them down” or even win them. I tell them, “Date as much as you want. I am just the guy you have fun with till Mr. Right shows up”.
And believe it or not that works a million times better than trying to lie to the girl about other girls you are dating. I have had dozens of women actually come over and have one last fuck right after telling me they just met Mr. Right and we couldn’t see each other anymore.
True love does bring a tear to my eye…..
Anyway, I believe marriage is a raw deal for men. It’s not really on my road map of things I want out of my future life. But if I were already married with a girl and I caught her in this type of lie I would go into instant “Build My Legal Case” mode. I would spring for the private eye; I would start recording conversations and videotaping interactions.
In a very short amount of time I would likely file for a divorce and have her move out. The documentation is to help keep her from thinking she is going to clean me out, walk with custody or becoming too aggressive. If you already have the goods on her she will be less hostile than if she thinks you don’t know what is going on so she can play the hurt victim card.
But what if it is girlfriend that lied to you?
I have been in this exact situation recently, and I will tell you what I did. First, I was mad. Hey what can I say, even though I know cool, calm and collected is the way to go it took me a bit to get there.
I also let her know I knew about the lie. At this point I was calm, but she explodes. She was telling the truth. She told me they weren’t closed. Or were they? Or maybe they closed and the business just let them stay a few extra hours and drink. Or maybe they closed but she didn’t notice because they were sitting on the patio, etc.
She then tries to twist it around because she thinks I have lied in the past. Now her lying and being caught is my fault. Oh to laugh.
She then tries the “Why are you even with me then?” types of arguments.
I do not engage her on any of these topics. If you didn’t know it, women argue through feelings and not logic or facts. Even if you are 100% logical, factual and proven by video evidence she will never be swayed since she doesn’t “feel” like it.
So I am not questioning her, I don’t need an apology, nor do I need an ego boost. I let her know I knew she lied so she could either:
1) Change her future behavior
2) Implode in on herself and prompt her to remove herself from my life.
By using this method you not only increase your perceived potential power, you also increase you perceived sexual market value.
Men that can’t get another girl very easily feel betrayed and become very angry. The “explode and make a scene” routine makes it that much more likely she will cheat on you and leave you.
A man that actually knows the true nature of women and is not afraid to call them on their bad behavior and is not afraid to simply walk away is truly rare – and this trait is a major sexual trigger as it is the trait of a highly sought after man.
Secondly, I thought about what I really wanted. I really enjoyed spending time and having sex with this girl. If you have read any of my material you know I am not spending a lot of money on a girl or for dates so I don’t have major resources tied up.
Catching a girl in a lie like this is not the end of the world. With my life I know of at least a dozen girls that would willingly take her place in the lineup if she doesn’t get her act together or decides to leave, so we have a low risk high potential reward situation for future sexual escapades.
By taking this approach there are only 2 general outcomes. She will either become a more dedicated, sweet and passionate lover or she will remove herself from your life with very little of the drama you would get if you did the “throwing her out on her ass” routine.
From experience, when a girl does something like this and I react how I do, I get a short period of amazing sex followed by her slowly lowering how much time we spend together.
Get that? The endgame of this approach is usually great sex for a few weeks followed by her either slowly removing herself from my life without all of the drama the other approaches have or her learning from her mistakes and not doing it again. This is a no lose situation for you. No matter what happens you are better off.
If she leaves do you get upset? Hell no, you put on a big smile and remember the Alpha Law of Ten Thousand…. Every day 10,000 girls are turning 18… 10,000 are turning 19… 10,000 are turning 20 and so-on. Never place too much importance on the interaction with just one.