Through my entire journey of becoming the man I am, I have heard “Just Be Yourself” 1 million times more than I have heard anything else. From parents, men, women – oh my god, this is the most common one from women.
And I have to tell you, this is wonderful advice – IF, and that is one damn big if, you have the life and relationships you want.
Yes, if you are bedding the women you want, if you are making the money you want, and if you wake every day overjoyed with the rewards you have created for yourself, then “Just Be Yourself” and you have won!
However, if you don’t quite have what you want… if you are not satisfied with the quality or quantity of women that you have… if you suspect that maybe there is more…
Then “Just Be Yourself” is the worst advice you can take.
JBY is the advice women who are not sexual attracted to you will tell you because they have no clue how to describe WHY they are attracted to certain men.
JBY is the advice your mom will give you because she is also a woman who has no clue on what actually attracts her to a man and she doesn’t want you to feel bad.
JBY is the advice of millions of clueless relationship authors that believe all humans have the exact same social skills, confidence and looks doll out to poor guys everyday.
JBY is the advice some people who do understand the mating ritual humans go through, because they don’t want you in their game.
You Are NOT Ready To “Just Be Yourself”
Let’s discuss a great “Dream Come True” example… Michael Jordan.
So how did he become the Michael Jordan that we all know today?
Now that’s the question I want to answer.
It may come as a surprise, but Michael Jordan was not always destined to become a NBA player, much less the greatest NBA player of all time. He didn’t come from an athletic family. His dad was a mechanic and mom a bank teller. And no one else in his family was over 6 feet tall. Genetically at least, the odds were stacked against him.
Michael was not a basketball prodigy either. To most people who knew him growing up, Michael was just a goofy kid who liked to play basketball. He wasn’t the most popular kid at school and the older boys often made fun of Michael for sticking out his tongue during ball games. In fact, Michael Jordan learned how to iron his own clothes because he thought he would never get a girlfriend!
And yet somehow, that goofy kid with the wagging tongue made his dreams come true…
I know it’s not about women, and that is partly the point. MJ worked his ass off. He changed who he was thru practice, study and dedication.
I bet he is very glad he didn’t just stay himself.
Learning the skills to pick-up, bed, and handle any woman you want is no different than learning to become one of the best basketball players. I know some of you will say that his core belief system didn’t change as he became better at sports, and you would be wrong. His core belief system, his frame, and his confidence all had to grow for him to believe he could become better. It always starts with the mind.
Does this mean he isn’t the same person he was when he started. That is exactly what that means. He is a better person.
So don’t JBY. Be better. Learn to get what you want, and in the same breath give her what she wants. Millions of relationship books are sold to women each month. These women are learning “rules” for how to handle men to get what they want out of a relationship. I know, I have read 100’s of the most popular books for women on men. And most of the information they promote is bullshit, just like most of the information written for men is bullshit.
But what if you do decide to “Just Be Yourself” and wait for the right girl. Well, it depends on where your skills and frame are, but the fact you are even reading this implies you would like to improve. But if you do JBY then you can blame the women, and society, for never achieving your goals. Sure, you will always look back and wonder, but at least you and your friends can tell you “it just wasn’t meant to be.”
Don’t Just Be Yourself Advice
What does this advice mean for a person who is struggling with women? Who is a virgin? Who has never been on a date? Or only has one date every year and never gets a second date? What does this advice mean for the person who is lonely, confused, depressed, unhappy, and dare I say it…
Instead of sitting around wishing the world would change, having faith that “SHE” is out there and will find you, that patience is a virtue, why not do something about it?
Usually, men do not try to change for fear of failure. They are scared they will fail in a social setting, and everyone will see them fail.
I have news for you, you are failing now. It’s just somewhat hidden.
It’s time to take charge and change your life.
Your Social Network Can Help You Or Hold You Back
Women HATE the idea that men can learn certain skills and traits to spread their legs. I know, I have had enough conversations with women that believe my teaching a man EXACTLY how to become better with women means he is learning to be manipulative. Even though a man that already or naturally has learned the skills is not looked upon as manipulative. Oh, and don’t forget these same women have no problem learning skills or reading advice columns on how to control a man like me.
And let’s not forget your friends. I have heard men tell their friends to “forget it, that girl is way out of your league.” That is a limiting belief, and certainly doesn’t help that man achieve his goals. I don’t believe any girl is out of my league. Actually, the hotter and more famous she is, the more she will be attracted to me since I will charmingly knock that princess pedestal right out from under her ass. And most men are too scared to do it.
Some of your friends can’t even see the reality of how all of this works, and look at the thought of becoming better with women as ludicrous. These are the same guys that drive the multi-billion dollar porn industry.
These same friends preach JBY, and that you don’t need “tricks” with women. These not-so-good friends are the same guys sitting alone in the bar – looking at the hot women wishing they could have her. These same friends will spend hundreds of hours to learn the “tricks” of being a better “Call Of Duty” gamer. These same friends who take women to a nice dinner, bring her flowers, buy her presents and don’t even get a kissed. Or a second date. No these are the same friends that hear the girls tell them “Let’s Just Be Friends”.
I want you to know, through my life, as I advanced myself towards my goals in love, business and athletics, I have cut loose friends that I felt were holding me back. It is hard enough to change, let alone change in a group of people who keep telling you “you can’t do it.” Does that make me a bad friend? So be it, first and foremost is my pursuit of happiness.
Self-Improvement Is A Life Skill
Learning to be an Alpha male takes time and experience. It is hard work, and requires a lot of mental reprogramming. It takes weeks to read all of the material, months to start learning confidence, and years to internalize all of the skills. There are no tricks or short cuts. No magic lines. Without the confidence and an understanding of the social dynamics at play, you saying the same thing I say to a girl will likely get you slapped. But if you commit yourself to learning these skills and dynamics, you can have anything you want.
The rewards, ahhh, the sweet nectar of the lusty, hot, young, sexual women. For me it has been worth more than the work.