I have a story for you, partly to explain what happened, and partly to also encourage you to embrace your masculine, Alpha self. Both embracing my path and teaching my son to be a man are the most valuable things I have ever done in my life, more than anything else. It saved my life.
Let’s start with my son. When he was 5 I noticed he was definitely a small, quiet and shy kid. I decided at that time, there was absolutely no way I was going to let my son grow up to be the awkward teen that hadn’t even kissed a girl by 16.
First, I signed him up for football. He is much smaller than the average player, even today, but I knew it would toughen him up. While most parents are scared of their kid getting hurt, I want mine to be placed in situations where he has to learn to trust himself and realize the biggest guy doesn’t always win. He still plays and I have worked with him for the last 9 years to learn the mental aspects of confidence. He is a great player.
Secondly, I made him talk. When we went out, I made him order his food. I made him pay for the groceries. I would engage him in the conversation with my friends and force him to talk. When he was 10, I bought him his first phone. That weekend I took him out and taught him how to get a girls number. It was a breastaurant I frequent, so I knew all of the waitresses, but they played along, he got numbers, gained confidence, and even had a few girls that text him – creepy I know.
Thirdly, I made him eat my diet (as close as I could get this kid to stick to it) and start training. The gym I worked out knew he wasn’t old enough to train, but they let me anyway. They have 3 weight classes in 8th grade, and he is the strongest ‘light’ weight. Last year, on the fitness challenge, he broke 5 of the 7 school records.
Lastly, I talked with him. Not bullshit, not fluff, and not lies. I answered questions about me, his mom, and girls truthfully. I never tried to put a girl down or fill him full of anger, but I did point out all of the anti-man, anti-masculine bullshit all of the media tries to push down our throats and discussed why he shouldn’t listen or believe this crap.
He is, for lack of a better word, an Alpha. Multiple girlfriends to the point he already had more female experience than I had in high school. He can talk to anyone, and he has cocky & funny, flirting and teasing down to a science. More importantly, when I messed up, he saved my life.
5 weeks ago, we were hanging out by the pool just being guys. It was a beautiful day with a radiant sun, crystal blue skies and just a wisp of clouds. My pool is not really deep enough to dive in, however I had taught him to shallow dive and were doing belly-flops, cannon balls and shallow water dives.
This is where I screwed up.
I dove too deep.
Split skull, broken nose, scraped/damaged orbital eye socket, loose teeth and a spinal injury (T4 & T-5) that paralyzed me. When I hit the bottom, I was out for a moment. I came too from lack of air and I tried to swim – that’s when terror hit me. I couldn’t move my legs. I could barely move my arms. I think my head broke the surface enough to spit the blood out of my mouth and I went back down. I remember thinking, “You are dead now.”
That’s when I felt my son grab me around the chest, lifted my head and say, “Don’t worry, I got you dad.” I will never forget that – “I got you.”
I was a mess. I was barely keeping consciousness. I told him to pull me to the side by the steps. He sat me on the stairs and I couldn’t sit up by myself. We rested there for a moment where I kept willing myself to move my legs. I flat couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t use my hands. They felt like they were on fire. Like my hands, fingers, and forearms were being shredded by razor blades whiles being dunked in freezing then boiling water. That and my face, mouth and nose were gushing blood.
After a minute or two, I knew this wasn’t just going to go away after I caught my breath. I had my son lean me over the side of the pool and go call 911.
I was trying to maintain consciousness, so the stories after this are from what I have been told. I remember pieces but just a tiny amount.
First my son called 911, explained what happened and to have a trauma unit on the way. He then put our pit bull up, packed a bag – even grabbing my wallet, clothes, and a can of snuff just in case. He called my father who lives 3 states away (we don’t have family in the area). He then called my girlfriend to let her know. He also called his mom, and let her know what was going on (she lives 5.5 hours away in a different state). EDIT: He later told me I told him to put the dog up, so that was me.
As the trauma team was strapping my back to a board (I remember one big guy telling me “Relax, the Calvary is here” as he jumped completely dressed into the pool to straighten my body), I at least had the awareness to ask the crew to bring my son. They did let him ride in the front of the ambulance.
As luck would have it, one of the major drugs that can deaden the pain of nerve damage is morphine – which I am allergic to. I don’t know what they gave me, but it doesn’t take away the pain, it just made me pass out. For the next few days I only remember very confusing and swirling glimpses of reality. My dad flew in town that night. My girlfriend left work and never left my side. I remember waking up and seeing her curled up on the windowsill couch with a blanket on the 3rd or 4th day.
I was told a lot of friends and my girlfriends family came by to see me, but I don’t remember.
Apparently, at one time, my son asked me if his mom could come up. I told him yes and said she could stay at our house – And she ended up staying in my house, with my dad and 22 year old girlfriend for a week. This was incredibly bad judgment on my side, but I think I was worried about my boy – not sure if I would make it. Either way, my girl, rightly so, gave me shit for that. We have been living together for several years, and she has never let me down with my son.
The original prognosis was not good. I was told that the Doctors told my dad and girlfriend I may be paralyzed for the rest of my life. They ended up putting these pressurized blankets around my legs that would alternate pumping blood through my legs to help them. They were also worried I would stroke out. Later, I was told that my blood pressure spiked at 164 over 123. Yes, that is life threatening.
I also couldn’t feel/use my lower extremities – including “Krull the warrior KING!” – also known as my dick. Which meant regular catheters to piss.
I had MRI’s, CAT scans, x-rays, and a host of other test.
As for my nose – lol. This was the 12th time I have broken my nose. I have had two “deviated septum” surgeries, and I didn’t want another. I hadn’t even seen my nose, but I did tell the Dr. and nurses “Girls date me for my charm, not my looks, I will be fine.” I was told the nurses liked me, that even on drugs and half passed out I flirted, teased and challenged. My nose is even more crooked, and hasn’t healed yet, but I have stopped snoring.
On the third day, I scared the hell out of everyone. I woke up and had to piss. I disconnected all the shit on me, stepped out of bed and fell. Which also set off all of the medical alarms.
However I stepped.
I spent 5 days in the ICU, with 2 days paralyzed.
When I came too I was messed up. My toes, legs, dick, anal region, ribs, hands, fingers and wrist alternated between tingling numbness and sheer razor like pain. I also wanted out of the hospital. My blood pressure had come down, but not as much as they wanted. I gritted through the pain, did ever test they wanted and got the hell out of there.
I was told that my physical conditioning is probably why I didn’t break my neck and I was healing better than the doctors believed possible. The Doctor told my Dad and family he couldn’t believe how fast I was healing.
I am incredibly thankful for the doctors and nurses that took such good care of me. I respect the medical profession, but if I am healing and not threatened with life and death, then I would rather be in charge of my recovery. I will push harder on my own.
I declined nose surgery.
I declined physical therapy – told the Dr. I know what I am doing.
I took the walker – which embarrassed the hell out me but I could not stand or walk without it.
My first two nights at home were hell. I could barely sleep – I took sleeping pills, Benadryl, NyQuil – just about anything to fall asleep. A dulled ache of sleep that lasted 1-3 hours. I was in constant pain. I could barely even grip anything to eat. A cold glass of water sent shock waves through my arms. I dropped 10 pounds in 2 weeks. Mostly muscle from lack of use.
But I was determined. I know if the body isn’t growing, it is dying. I know what to eat to release to body’s natural healing hormones, mainly HGH and IGF-1, and I went back to my body building diet. I had been lax on my diet the last 2 years, but now I need to heal.
I also knew how to come back. After about a week and a half, I went outside with my walker and went as far as I could go. Maybe 50 yards and then I walked back with my walker. I broke a sweat and stumbled the whole way.
The next night I went further.
In a few days I went around the block.
The next night I went twice.
Then I went 3 laps. And more every night.
After 5 laps, I went one lap without my walker – that was hard. However, the next day I woke up with a hard-on and had sex with my girl for the first time in 3 weeks. I couldn’t cum, my dick was too numb, but you have NO IDEA how happy I was to have an erection.
After a few weeks I could do several laps without the walker.
Last week I started pushups. I could only do 6.
Today I can do about 14.
I just had my check up at the Doctor. They couldn’t believe the recovery I have made. When I was sitting in the waiting area (for 5 hours – they had a spinal emergency) I saw several paralyzed people. I heard stories of car accidents, severed spinal cords, motorcycle accidents, and a ton of construction accidents. I was the only spinal patient that walked in without a cane, walker or wheelchair. You have no ideal how much I wish the best for all of those people (and anyone facing this – it scared the hell out of me). I will tell you this, out of 40 plus people, only 1 person looked in shape. He was in a wheel chair and I hope he makes a full recovery. About 60-70% of the people were fat. Not a little fat, but I mean like 3-5 times the size they should be.
At my meeting, the Doctors were amazed. They could not believe the recovery. They questioned me about my diet and physical training routine. They asked about my supplements. I told them about my diet and how it is designed to release HGH & IGF-1 and why I have focused this way. I went through my supplements, and the only advice I was given was to up my Vitamin C and Zinc as they can really impact the nervous system.
When I told the doctors I had started push-ups, they were not happy, but one of them said something like, “well, you are recovering faster than anyone we have seen, but if it hurts or you feel any increased nerve pain or numbness then stop – who are we to tell you not to do something you are already doing when you are healing so well.
I asked when I could go back to the gym – that’s when they showed me the pictures of my spine. I swear, it was crushed to 25% of its normal size at the 4th vertebra. That picture scared me all over again. The doctors told me in no uncertain terms to stick with walking and pushups for 3 months. No back, neck or pulling exercises. After seeing that picture, I won’t.
I will likely have some ongoing issues, but the T4 – T5 vertebra are healing, I can walk, and I can type – barely, but I can.
How important is Alpha? I feel it saved my life.
More importantly I am so proud of my son. I asked him if he told anyone that he saved my life?
He simply said, “No I didn’t, no reason to tell them.”
That is a man.