Remove The Pedestal

One of the places that men tend to screw up with women they really like is by seeing what they want from the woman, rather than what is. Questions like: “How can I tell if she likes me?”, “When should I kiss her?” or “What do I say to her?” all have a common basic frame – you value her more than you value yourself. And that just isn’t attractive to women.

I so fully believe that bedrock-firm confidence and a true understanding of the nature of women are keys to being successful with women. However to have this type of confidence, you must see the true nature of the opposite sex, and this is the section that will create a shit storm from women. If you haven’t noticed, people in general hate having their flaws pointed out. When you point out the flaws of men in general, you tend to get a calibrated and downtrodden response. The average man is scared to speak up and disagree. Most men have the “go along to get along”, mentality. And in truth, there isn’t much value in arguing these points.

But there is a world of difference between being the man who knows these points, and the man who doesn’t.

 
Want to have some fun? Next time you are around a group of men and women (or at least women) ask them try something with you, a simple thought experiment. With the group around you, take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Don’t tell them what you are doing, simply write “MEN ARE” at the top left and look at them invitingly to give you adjectives.

Likely you will hear:

• Dogs

• Pigs

• Controlling

• Cheaters

• Angry

• Violent

• Afraid of commitment

Write these down as you hear them.

Now write “WOMEN ARE” on the other side and write these down these answers on the right side of the paper. Now you will likely hear:

• Strong

• Independent

• Beautiful

• Compassionate

• Powerful

• Nurturing

• Capable

Now, you should easily see that women are described as “good” people, and the men are typically described as “bad”. If you really want to have fun, then ask them, “Based on the way you described men and women, what does that say about our biases to one group?” About 1/3 of the girls will be mad, if you don’t want sex from them have fun pointing out they are the ones that gave you the adjectives. You will still be blamed with the results!

Seriously though, the truth is men and women are very close to the same with our good qualities and our bad qualities. I know the reports indicate that men still cheat about 3% more than women. However, these are self reported results, and women tend to limit their memories or honesty when it comes to personally looking bad, or making women as a whole look bad. Said another way, men tend to exaggerate their sexual exploits, while women tend to down play their sexual exploits.

With this in mind, we are now going to shine the light on the dark side of women’s nature. If you are a woman reading this, you need to put the emotional side of your brain on pause, and look at how life really is. Remember your past relationships, friends relationship, scientific studies and social interactions. And you don’t get to use “Not All Women Are Like That!” Just because you may not have done “whatever” exact point I make doesn’t mean it’s not true. Typically, when we look at the population as a whole group to understand general social dynamics, the exception PROVES the rule.

Cheating

A study last year by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy revealed 41 percent of marriages had one or both spouses admit to marital infidelity (either physical or emotional), with the average length of affair being two years. As far as surviving the affair, the data shows 31 percent of marriages survive infidelity. So the question is, what leads people from “I do” to “I did?” Is there such a thing as the psychology of infidelity?

A study from last year…http://saludify.com/psychology-of-infidelity-cheaters/

Dr. Ley, who authored books Insatiable Wives and The Myth of Sex Addiction, said the impetus behind cheating is different among genders.

“When the woman cheats, she’s more likely to cheat with a single male and to develop an intimate and more romantic relationship,” he said. “Women tend to cheat more along the lines of a romance novel, where they are looking for that kind of dynamic and romantic intimate attention and excitement. When a man cheats, he’s more likely to cheat in a series of one-night-stands. Men oftentimes are looking for that kind of high from a new sexual relationships from the attention of oftentimes a younger woman and to feel that kind of escape.”

In his research, Dr. Ley said the one common ground amongst both sexes that cheat is a sense of psychological and biological excitement that oftentimes diminishes in long-term relationships. In fact, the aforementioned Journal of Marital and Family Therapy study showed 57 percent of men and 54 percent of women admitted to committing infidelity in any prior relationship.

Now a study from almost 20 years ago…
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/22/how-common-is-cheating-infidelity-really/

Many research studies attempt to estimate exactly how many people engage in infidelity, and the statistics appear reliable when studies focus on sexual intercourse, deal with heterosexual couples, and draw from large, representative, national samples. From the 1994 General Social Survey of 884 men and 1288 women, 78% of men and 88% of women denied ever having extramarital (EM) sex (Wiederman, 1997). The 1991-1996 General Social Surveys report similar data; in those years 13% of respondents admitted to having had EM sex (Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001).

In the 1981 National Survey of Women, 10% of the overall sample had a secondary sex partner. Married women were the least likely (4%), dating women more likely (18%), and cohabiting women most likely (20%) to have had a secondary sex partner (Forste & Tanfer, 1996). […]
Compared with Laumann et al. (1994), other authors report significantly lower prevalence statistics. General Social Surveys conducted in 1988 and 1989 showed that a mere 1.5% of married people reported having had a sexual partner other than their spouse in the year before the survey (Smith, 1991), and less than 3% of Choi, Catania, and Dolcini’s (1994) sample had engaged in EM sex in the previous 12 months.

In a 1993 probability sample that included 1194 married adults, 1.2% had EM sex in the last 30 days, 3.6% had EM sex in the last year, and 6.4% had EM sex in the last 5 years (Leigh, Temple, & Trocki, 1993). These results possibly indicate that the number of EM sexual involvements in any given year is quite low, but that over the lifetime of a relationship this number is notably higher.

In general, based on the above data, we can conclude that over the course of married, heterosexual relationships in the United States, EM sex occurs in less than 25% of committed relationships, and more men than women appear to be engaging in infidelity (Laumann et al., 1994; Wiederman, 1997). Further, these rates are significantly lower in any given year. […] (Blow & Hartnett, 2005)

An interesting note is the increase in cheating, and the narrowing gap between women and men in today’s society. Is this because woman are cheating more? No, I believe it is a culture shift, where women no longer feel the need to disguise their carnal bias as much. Feminism has stripped away the need for these women to feel they have to guard the perception of their sex lives, so they feel more secure, even empowered, reporting their cheating.

I know both men and women do cheat. We both have that innate nature to take opportunities when the risk of punishment seems low. I have seen a few members of the opposite sex stick to their morals, but only a few. The purpose of pointing this out is not to get you to hate women, but to remove the pedestal you place them on from your mind. They are not pure and chaste princesses, but the same carnal, lustful being you are.

I will say this, from an entirely nonscientific point of view, women cheat more. As I became the aloof Alpha with an understanding of how this works, I realized if you amp up the attraction and sexual tension with a girl enough, regardless of her “relationship” status, she will cheat. When I am meeting girls and they say they have a boyfriend, I simply point out that means they are not married, thus single and keep displaying high value.

Here’s a brutal revelation about modern motherhood: the notorious pro-cheating site Ashley Madison (yes, the one where you can find the perfect person to have an affair with) announced that the biggest spike in women signing up for the site occurs on the day after Mother’s Day. In fact, last year, they saw a 439% increase in new women signups on that fateful Monday.

It is also true, if you look Alpha and have great preselection and social dynamics in your favor, all of sudden girls with boyfriends are “single”, fiancé’s are “not seeing anyone” and married women who “forget to mention they are married” are finding a way to fuck you. Once again, all women are not like this, but it really hasn’t mattered if I were in a biker bar, the hottest club in town or even just out for a nice dinner, at least 1/3 of the girls I have been with cheated on their man (or woman) to be with me.

I encourage girls I am just fucking to date other men. Sounds counterproductive I know, but I am not trying to lie to these girls. I usually tell them I am not the guy they will have forever. I am not getting married, don’t want kids, etc. Yes, after you have fucked them, this makes them want you more. But I am serious. I encouraged them to date.

And some of their dates have dropped them off at my house. They will go have dinner with another guy, and come over and fuck me when they are done with the free evening. Does this bother me? A little, since I use to be the guy wining-and-dinning them.

Let’s take another wonderful statistic…

What Are Your Odd’s Of Being The Daddy?

Along the lines of cheating is the horrible statistic of wives/girlfriends having children by other men (AKA Alpha), and then passing the child off as the stable boyfriend/husband. The statistics range from 24-26% of children born and tested in the USA are not of the husband/boyfriends DNA (results obtained from multiple testing laboratories). The national average is expected to be more like 3.7% to 13.6 % depending on relationship type. Either way, if you are not sure, get a paternity test ASAP. If you are a good provider, your ex-girlfriend may claim her “bad boy lover that ran away” kid is yours.

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