After my divorce and bankruptcy, I was completely devastated. Broke, no confidence, with no prospects – business or dating wise. At this time, I did what I had too just to survive. I created websites and affiliate marketing programs, worked as a consultant, was a personal trainer, and even moved furniture when needed. And I studied.
I read every book, manual, website, info-product CD or DVD product I could find or afford. At the time, I believed if I could get a handle on my sex life, I would have the ability to go back and create my business life over.
I was recruited by a Fortune 100 company to help start an Internet Sales team. My seduction and dating life were really starting to take off, and my confidence level had improved as well. It was at this time I discovered NLP. An outside trainer used NLP to help teach effective communication styles to new Account Executives. All of a sudden, everything I had studied and been using in my dating life just clicked. In very short order I understood why cocky & funny, negs, routines and the like worked. Learning the foundation of NLP started me on a new path, one where I not only took my business life to a new level, but where I also understood the mating game.
This is a beginners course in NLP, with the added components of how to improve yourself (Remove Limiting Beliefs, Create New Beliefs, Change Realities, Remove Fears, Etc.) and increase your sexual communication with women (Demonstrate High Value, Create Rapport, Build Sexual Tension, Calibrate, Elicit Values Etc). In learning these principles of reality and communication coupled with all of the seduction techniques and routines I had learned I finally realized what a woman wants, and how to give it to her in a way that made me a man she wanted.
NLP and the Mind
The Unconscious Mind
Our consciousness as a species is a rare gift and an amazing tool. As a species we like to believe we are the top dogs of the universe. And why not, look at all that man has built and created. We may be the top species of our planet, but with our intellect and conscious mind we make several serious mistakes in our beings. Namely we confuse personal reality with absolute reality and we allow past circumstances limit future behaviors.
You see, the brain functions different on multichannel internal processes. From a high level psychological stand point, we have the conscious mind, the subconscious mind and the reptilian brain. The conscious mind is nothing more than the thinking inside of your head that you are aware of in the moment. Think of a horse… that picture, sound or smell in your head of a horse is your conscious mind at work.
The subconscious mind is the other “programmed” brain that helps your body function WITHOUT you having to focus your conscious mind to complete a task. These thoughts happen outside of your awareness and are patterns or learned task that allow you do something without using your focus. Like walking and talking. Typically you are using your conscious mind while talking, and your subconscious mind is controlling all of the muscles, balance, and navigation for your walking.
The reptilian mind is a part of the subconscious mind that regulates breathing, heart rate, basic bodily functions as well as a few basic emotions. Think of it this way, basic survival skills like “Fight, Flight or Freeze” and visual attraction functions are controlled by the Reptilian brain. It is very basic in thought, connected very closely to the subconscious and the Optical nerve goes straight to the Reptilian brain.
As a side note, one weekend we were at the lake, just anchored and floating a few hundred yards off of an island we like. I was sitting on an inter-tube tied to our boat when I thought I felt the rope rub waist. I know I started to look down, and before my conscious mind could register what was happening, the Reptilian brain told my arm to grab a 4 foot snake on my lap and fling it away. It scared the shit out of me when I became aware (as the snake was in the air). Turned out to be a non-poisonous water snake, but the reptilian brain didn’t care. It made a fast survival decision.
From what I have read, all learning, behaviors and change (think beliefs or frames) happen on a subconscious level first. There is noticeable time difference between when your subconscious learns to preform a new task and when your conscious mind can realize the knowledge. Often, you have learned something – like a limiting belief – without even realizing you are now operating with the new learned belief. This is good and bad, as the subconscious can learn so much faster than the conscious, however it can implement learning’s (limiting beliefs) meant to protect you that actually hold you back.
In fact, your unconscious mind has been estimated to be processing somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 million bits of data at any given moment (heart rate, non focused field of vision, color contrast, movements, digestion, etc.). By way of contrast, your consciousness has the ability to process only 5–9 pieces of information at a time, like trying to remember a new 9 digit number and only remembering the first 5-7 numbers.
Remember the teachers in school that were so damn boring? That is usually because they only tried engaging the conscious “logical” mind, rather than engaging the subconscious mind. To learn, our subconscious need multiple data inputs. Keep that in mind as you read and study about being an Alpha. All of these points are simply to bring concepts into your awareness so you can feel and experiences them in the real world – and that is when you will truly learn.
Every Thing Is Based On Communication
Dr Ray L. Birdwhistell was an anthropologist who specialized in the study of nonverbal communication. He spent his lifetime observing how people communicate using all available channels. He became famous for theorizing that in general context, the meaning of a communication is transmitted by:
7 % Words
38 % Tonality
55 % Non-verbal cues
This is why I constantly say it’s not the cocky or funny words you use, but how you say them, which communicates your internal belief system. Non-verbal cues are those signals that include facial expression, eye blinks, breathing rate, skin color, and posture while tonality refers to the pitch, rhythm, voice tone, timbre, and tempo. This concept is simply gold as you communicate with others to display confidence, dominance, sexuality, or any other internal belief. When people send mixed signals – known as incongruent communication i.e. when their non-verbal cues or tonality do not match the actual words they are using – then they significantly impact how that message is received and how they are viewed. Humor, confidence, sexuality, value, dominance, desire, sarcasm, lies, dishonesty, ironies, disdain, scorn, approval, admiration or agreement are all felt perceptions suggested more by how you say something than by what you actually say. This is to be expected when we realize how much information the subconscious brain processed versus the conscious mind. The conscious mind will be focused on the words being spoken, while the subconscious mind is picking up on all the sub-context being implied.
My favorite “AH-HA” moment is when I learned about how we naturally convey messages within messages within messages every time we communicate. Most of us are not aware of the subtexts that we are signaling to others, or indeed how we unconsciously respond to the sub-communications that others are sending our way. These sub-communications profoundly influence the way we feel about them, how we respond or behave with this person and for most people are outside of our conscious perception.
Part of learning NLP will focus on sensitizing your conscious mind to the sub-communications so that you can communicate with people on multiple levels and in a congruent way (a way that builds trust). An expert communicator can offer several parallel layers of meaning to his audience. He can make the surface level talk basic chit-chat, while letting his body language communicate dominance as his voice builds sexual tension. And it is this ability that the master seducer and Alpha have in common – the ability to make the woman feel that primal pull to mate.
Before I continue let me make a general disclaimer: what you are about to read is just one way to look at things. It is not the truth per se, nor is not necessarily even 100% correct. These are merely useful descriptions of mental processes that are larger than we can currently comprehend without the use of convenient metaphors. By using these processes coupled with a desire to be the best, I created a life I wanted.
The Universal Modeling Process
There are many different schools of thought debating what is True, Good or Real. I don’t want to open a religious or philosophical debate. What I will assume however (and it is only a small assumption), is that we have no way of knowing what is in the world “out there” apart from through our 5 senses. Yes, I understand faith, but in the realities of the mind the only truths we can fully understand are those we can feel and sense. When an outside stimuli activates one of our senses, our subconscious (and to a much lesser extent) conscious go about deciphering the stimuli and determining its meaning.
For example: when a photon (light) strikes the retina, a chemical reaction starts a chain of electro-chemical signals that pass along special nerve cells to the brain (primarily the visual cortex). It is only in the brain that these signals are translated into something meaningful that we can understand as a picture. That picture is in turn processed again so we can attach some kind of meaning to it: danger, friend, flower, etc. The pure, unprocessed “picture” is known as Primary Experience (or First Access) because we have not “framed” its meaning with our own personal history.
Secondary Experiences result when we make some form of determination about what the picture stands for. This is how we know what that picture means to us.
Now there is too much information in the world out there for our minds to take in and remain sane. Just look around your room, and you will start to notice items that while always present, your brain ignored so that it could process stimuli with more meaning. So our brains filter out bits of information considered irrelevant or not useful to lighten the load. During this filtering process we will delete information, distort it or generalize information from it.
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