As we ended our discussion about game, I felt both excitement and fear. AlphaX had demonstrated in action some truths that part of my mind didn’t want to accept. My mind didn’t want to accept it because I knew it would take work. While many of us love to think we’re driven by excitement, more often not, we’re driven by resistance.
Resistance makes an interesting opponent because it seldom comes as resistance, but a rationalization. The Red Pill community is one of the few communities aware of rationalizations, though most of the awareness is addressed to women’s rationalizations. As it turns out, men rationalize too and we do it well. We don’t want to do something that we know will force us to grow, so we create a reason why we won’t do it and it sounds very good – in fact it often sounds like we’ll grow more by not growing!
AlphaX told me that this journey would be difficult and he wasn’t lying. In fact, he even warned me that every man had to find what worked for him; and here’s the irony – that was the statement I ignored the most. Just because an approach works for others does not mean it will work for you. While I think stretching your comfort zone is great, doing what others have done won’t – in and of itself – create self-respect. Self-respect comes from doing something you desire doing, doing it well, and doing something that leads to an outcome that you desire. Even though we cannot control the last part, we can control the first part (doing what we desire) and we can make improvements on the middle part (doing it well).
I spent a few months attempting what others had done, mirroring others, all while not feeling it, and grew burned out. I saw no results. I didn’t feel better about myself and I didn’t feel better about my life. In addition, I didn’t have better questions about my problem than before I started, which I knew indicated a huge problem. So what did I do? I procrastinated. “I’ll work on this later because I need to get other things in place before any of this works.” Do you see resistance in that sentence (I put it in italics)? Anyone on the planet would probably agree since we could all come up with insecurities that we haven’t mastered yet.
When we know we need to do something, and we don’t want to do it, we will come up with all kinds of barriers (all invented). “I need to style my hair better” or “I need the right clothes” or “Well, I do drive a Toyota, so I need to get a BMW.” We create these fake realities and invent barriers to our ultimate goal. If you want money, make money. If you want food, eat. If you’re tired and you need rest, sleep. If you want women … get a good paying job, dress well, buy an Audi, make an awesome Facebook page, travel the world, make sure to have other women (ah oh), and make sure to keep all the mutual funds in business! See the problem – if you want women, act on it and only improve what absolutely needs to be improved. All the other barriers are actually resistance in the form of procrastination.
I found myself in a similar position to what I had experienced before – spending time with friends who were upset about their girl prospects and immediately took advantage of three opportunities without worrying about how I would look to them or others. I felt amazing about it, and most of all, I felt sincere. And when I left, I had a few good questions and realized that I was growing again, just like AlphaX had advised, by doing what I respected and what I found results in doing.