David DeAngelo coined this phrase, as far as I know. Cocky and Funny is an attitude, but too many guys use it as a crutch. It is a frame for flirting and it communicates very strongly with women. When cocky and funny is played off perfectly, it demonstrates that you are playful, bold, flirtatious, witty, not scared or intimidated of her, you are the prize, etc.
As we have discussed several times, your attitude and frame are way more important than what you say. I know, most of you disagree – which is why you don’t have the success you want with women. You think if you just had the right words, you could sweep her off of her feet. I promise you, if you have the right frame and attitude, the words come naturally. With that said, use C&F to help you learn the right attitude, just keep in mind that it is supposed to be funny too – not mean and not an insult. Without the funny, or a good Pattern Interrupt this can backfire.
The brilliance of cocky and funny is that it’s flirting – pure and simple. Teasing is flirting. Cocky and Funny is simply flirting with a stronger edge (or a great way to handle shit-test). You flirt to gain attraction and interest, and to tell her that you know what’s going on, that you have social value, and you know how to play this game. Once that’s accomplished, don’t get bogged down and only flirt, you need to build a connection, and show her your value in other areas of your life.
The concept is pretty simple:
1. Take an arrogant comment.
2. Add humor to make it funny.
Sometimes use this to demonstrate one of your values or pass one of her shit-test.
When you communicate like this, you communicate: ALPHA & CONTROLLED
…which, of course, are all qualities that lead to a woman feeling attraction and that tingle she so craves.
How to Use Cocky Funny Successfully
If your goal is build attraction, rapport, or comfort during the course of the conversation then your primary objective should always be focused on letting the woman you’re with have as much fun as possible charged with sexual tension… and to associate that with you.
When you’re creating these fun and sexually charged feelings in her the most effective way to escalate to sexual contact is keep her in the moment. This means that you stop worrying about searching for commonalities. In fact, avoid asking any sort of questions that force her to think too much about the answer. When two people are thinking too hard about what to say… conversation comes across as stiff and lifeless and sexual tension that comes from flirting is lost or interpreted as sexual harassment.
First, we ought to understand the social-psychology of cocky/funny. The cocky part is designed to demonstrate that the man has a level of alpha confidence (or balls as I like to say). The funny part is to make people laugh and take the tension off by injecting humor into the social interaction.
The problem is it’s taking a line that a proverbial “Cool guy” would utter and giving it to someone who may not be as cool. Without the attitude the line or words can be lost in translation. It’s common knowledge that most communication is non-verbal, and teaching the verbal part of a concept to someone while leaving out the non-verbal is a recipe for disaster.
In the long run, a cocky line cannot provide the illusion of confidence for someone who comes across otherwise. It may buy him a few minutes sometimes, but the illusion will be shattered if his attitude and actions do not back up the comment.
When I was big into cocky and funny, then everything I did was geared to increasing attraction and showing I had balls. My frame for cocky and funny is usually she is a 12 year old girl who likes me too much and always chasing me and has to be with me or I have the biggest balls in the bar.
I will give you as many lines as I can think of, but keep in mind, it’s not the lines. It is the attitude. I simply cannot stress this enough. The words for cocky and funny are just to tease and demonstrate traits women are attracted to; inner strength, playfulness, unpredictability, etc. Boredom is the kiss of death, and if you feel everything is normal you are slowly loosing, and you will have to mix it up. Most guys treat women they love/want as sweet innocent snowflakes atop lifted pedestal… act too protective, try to keep everything smooth, and always try to fix any problem, never rock the boat, never say “no”, etc. We, as guys, have to learn to let that go (most of the time). Women need to feel and no feeling = nothing. Anger = emotion, love = emotion, tease = emotion; so you can’t just let them feel “normal”. The opposite of love is indifference… not hate or anger. Hate and anger are passions, like love, and I will sometimes use their anger to my advantage.
First rule with learning what we call “cocky and funny” – no backing down. If you say something you want to increase attraction, and the girl you are talking to takes even a little offense you have one of three choices of what you say:
1) You look her dead in the eye, let a slight smile cross your face, slightly nod, and say “Yeah, I said it.” This is my only response now, and is 100% ALPHA direct game.
2) Say nothing, lock eyes with her and just smirk a bit. 100% ALPHA indirect game.
3) If she still is mad, or if you don’t have the balls for #1 and prefer, you may say “What, are you the only one of us who lost their sense of humor today?” and then laugh. If you act like it’s no big deal, so will she (even if it takes a little time).
4) She says “You hurt my feelings” you say “You have feelings, when did this happen?” And start smiling…. Any issues with this one, revert to #2 or #1.
When you start displaying behavior that pushes up attraction with a girl, she will test you to weed out posers. She will act mad when she is not, she will flake, etc. That’s why I prefer number one. Direct, simple, and damn hard to test. If you say something C&F, and she test you, and you immediately apologize, you failed her test, and she now knows you are a beta with no balls trying to act cool. The more test you fail, the more she knows you are not Alpha, and the less she feels attraction or sexual tension with you.
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