Inner game is the coined phrase for what is happening inside your mind. Your eyes, body and voice subtlety communicate to those around you how you feel about yourself. This is a hard concept for most men, but most of learning to attract hot women is about what is going on in your own head.
You will learn tactics, and actual words that match common situations, but the goal is not to be able to regurgitate these lines back at the appropriate time. No, the goal is to get you seeing and feeling the world differently. To learn how to have a powerful controlled inner game which will naturally demonstrate your Alpha side.
When you first start, this stuff might not make any sense. But as you practice it, pieces will fall into place. Suddenly, one day, you will just have it. At this point, you will start picking up on more and more of women’s subtle clues. You will become accepted by women. Alpha men with the inner game nailed, the ones who get it (as in understand the mating dance) are instantly accepted by women, while men who don’t get it are instantly rejected (and don’t get any, as in sex).
You Are Either Wired For Success Or Failure!
Your mind has two components: The conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind is the rational, logical, analytical, thinking part of the mind. The conscious mind is constantly taking in information from the five senses, then it uses logic and reason to analyze the inputs and comes to conclusions about whether the input is true or false. The subconscious is the part of the mind responsible for storing data (memory), for automatic behavior (habits), reflexes and autonomic functions of the body such as digestion, breathing and circulation.
It’s important to note that unlike the conscious mind, the subconscious mind does not “think.” It is entirely deductive in nature, which means it works like a computer. All the data programmed into your subconscious “computer” through the conscious is accepted and assumed to be true. It doesn’t matter whether the data is actually true or false. The subconscious unquestioningly accepts everything that reaches it. It then carries out the programming you have entered into it.
Suggestions given under hypnosis, affirmations repeated during deep relaxation as hypnotic or subliminal messages are all ways to access the subconscious mind. Another way to penetrate the subconscious (although much slower) is through repetition (why affirmations and visualization doesn’t work great all by themselves). Everything you hear, see, say, read or think repeatedly will eventually filter into your subconscious mind.
We will be exploring some NLP techniques that help you reprogram your subconscious as fast as possible. And this can be used in more areas than dating and mating.
You Have Already Programmed Yourself
Most people have good intentions, but they unwittingly allow their subconscious to work against themselves by focusing on what they don’t want (yes, this is the think positive aspect). And, as author Louise Hay wrote, “The more you dwell on what you don’t want, the more of it you create.” Think negative enough (repetition) and you will get what you think about.
- It’s not fair that everyone else has a date except me.
- I can’t meet women, no matter what I do.
- I wish I could meet her.
- Why is it so hard for me to talk to a girl?
- I am ugly and no woman would want me.
- I don’t want to have to learn new skills.
- I just want to be loved for me.
- I can’t.
- I’ll try.
You talk with yourself all the time. It has been estimated that you think around 50,000 thoughts per day, and many of these are the same thoughts you have already had, with a large percentage of them being negative about yourself.
To have freedom from these self defeating habits, you have to:
- Realize that you really do talk to yourself all the time
- Realize that most of these thoughts are negative
- Learn to replace negative thoughts and habits with more productive thoughts and habits (reframe)
Notice, in #3 I didn’t write “have more positive” thoughts. You can have a bad attitude and still achieve your goals. Let’s say you wanted to open a door. The door is marked “pull”. You could be the most positive person in the world, but if you “push” the door, you are never getting in.
Just think about this. You, pushing against the door all day saying to yourself:
“If I just push a little harder, the door will open.”
“This door is going to open, I can just feel it.”
“Never give up, just keep pushing”
Or, you can simply see the door says “pull”, be negative since you like to “push” – and open the door to get to your goal.
Now, I believe in being positive, but please understand; I don’t care if you are positive or negative. I just want you to get to your goal. That’s it.
So, let’s look at some ways of controlling our behavior and subconscious.
NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming
The bedrock principle of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is that any action, behavior or emotion can be changed instantly as soon as a person’s “State” can be changed.
Now here’s the tricky part, what do NLP practitioners mean when they use the word, “State?” State is made up of several things, your physiology, which includes your posture, facial expression, movements, vocal tone, breathing, blood sugar level, and overall fitness and health condition.
The other element of State is called the person’s “Internal Representation.” Your Internal Representation is made up of how you perceive the situation and what you believe about the things your senses signal to you. It can include your feelings about yourself, your abilities, the type of person you are, and what you think you can or cannot do. It can also include things like your belief system (whether you believe the world is fair or is out to get you).
Now let’s make this practical. Let’s say you are usually very shy and have difficulty carrying on fun conversations with beautiful women. However, tonight you are planning to attend an important party and you want to improve your ability to engage in spirited conversations, even though the room will be full of beautiful women.
There are two ways you can change your state in order to greatly improve your conversational style. The physiological way would be to walk into that room and act “as if” you were the most engaging person on the planet (fake it till you make it principle). You might stand in front of a mirror for a few minutes and straighten your posture, hold your head erect and talk to the mirror “as if” you had a personality much like the a famous outgoing and cool actor (i.e. George Clooney).
By doing this, by acting “as if” you were this kind of person, your physiology, along with your breathing, posture and movements would immediately change your state, which would result in an immediate change in your behavior.
Now the second way to change your state is to change your “Internal Representation.” You need to challenge and utterly defeat the belief you have about yourself being shy and an awkward conversationalist. In fact, you need to turn that belief around so that you believe you are an excellent conversationalist.
You could do this by remembering a time you actually were in a situation in which you were engaging, friendly, outgoing, interesting and humorous. And guess what? That situation does not have to be just like the setting you are going into now. Perhaps the previous situation you recall was when you were teaching your friends how to play Call of Duty, but you “turned on” your personality so much that they loved every moment of their time with you.
You then bring the emotions of that previous situation and move them into a new representation you create for yourself. In other words, you use the emotions from another time and place and create a new internal representation to help you with this new setting.
The term reframing designates a communication technique which has origins in family systems therapy and the work of Virginia Satir. Milton H. Erickson has also been associated with reframing and it also forms an important part of Neuro-linguistic programming. In addition, provocative therapy uses reframing with an emphasis on humor.
Another meaning or another sense is assigned by reframing a situation or context, thus we see a situation in another frame (literally, another point of view). A frame can help change a belief or limiting belief (what limits our view of the world). If we let this limiting belief go or change its context, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop to replace the old limiting belief.
Psychotherapists trained in the reframing by communication attempt to let scenes appear in another point of view (frame) so that someone feels relieved or is able to deal with a traumatic situation better.
An example of this is the reframing of the role as a passive victim (“I’ve never been good with women.”) into an active role, from which different decisions than so far can be made (“I am better today than I was yesterday” or even better “I am a powerful sexual male”). Other examples are the reinterpretation of the negatively noticed behavior (“I am shy and do not talk to women.”) into a positive (“I am mysterious and this intrigues women.”).
Anthony Robbins wrote, “A signal has meaning only in the frame or context in which we perceive it.”
For example, if a person is resting in bed and hears his bedroom door open, the same exact noise will have two totally different meanings to him and evoke drastically different reactions depending on whether (1) he is alone in a locked house, or (2) he had previously invited his friend over and left the back door to his house unlocked. According to Anthony Robbins:
“[I]f we perceive something as a liability, that’s the message we deliver to our brain. Then the brain produces states that make it a reality. If we change our frame of reference by looking at the same situation from a different point of view, we can change the way we respond in life. We can change our representation or perception about anything and in a moment change our states and behaviors. This is what reframing is all about.”
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