Most men do not test or qualify girls. Ever hear a girl say, “she wants a challenge“? That is a girl looking for a masculine man Alpha enough to compliance test her while still in rapport and building attraction. Most men will use the “nice and give until it hurts” approach when dealing with women they really like. And this is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
As I started studying psychology and NLP, I began to open my eyes (reframe) how I viewed the world. I removed all of my limiting beliefs, and just focused on watching the interaction between men and women without trying to make it fit in my little box.
What I noticed is most men are polite. When they want something, they will ask for it. Sure, there is always the exception to the rule, but men are hard wired into being aware of the masculine social hierarchy, and to minimize conflict, we truly are more polite (on the average). I believe this comes from the subconscious awareness that to create conflict can put us in harms way. Telling other men what to do is a strategy for fighting.
Women, however, live a more protected existence, therefore tend to be ruder. Typically men will protect women, whether that be men in the area that know her, men that have just seen her, or government officials designated to “Protect and Serve”.
Not to stray too much here, but I know that men will have a conflict, and it may go to blows. I have seen a man rudely bump into people, another man call him out, that man throw a beer in his face, and the first man clean the floor with his ass.
I have also seen a woman rudely bump into a group of people, have a man say something to her, have that woman call him a name, watch the man not flinch and not say anything, which made the girl even more rude as she threw her beer in his face. And he just stood there.
Why? Mainly because the man is aware that most men in the area will attack him if he defends himself against the woman. He knows he isn’t fighting just her, but other men that don’t even know him. Then when the civil servants arrive, he will have a long heart wrenching night in jail, a court battle that he is likely to lose, even though she technically started the scuffle, and be labeled an abuser for the rest of his life. A label that could prevent him from achieving certain career goals later in the future.
And it is because of this dynamic I see so many women tell men what to do, act very rude, and believe they can say or do things the average man wont. And that creates a pattern for both men and women. The women become use to ordering men what to do, and the men become use to doing it.
This is especially true in relationships. I have seen 1,000’s of men verbally humiliated by their wives, told to go do some bullshit chore that could wait, run an errand or complete some other task that just wasn’t needed right that moment. And these women didn’t ask their husbands. They weren’t sweet and polite. They spoke from a position of authority, with disdain and contempt in their voices.
And the men complied.
- I have seen the CEO of a 3 billion dollar company run to the fax machine and hand his personal assistant a fax because she told him to.
- I have seen a waitress tell a customer to hand her a beer bottle.
- I have seen a mom with rug rats in tow tell a man she didn’t know to hold the door while she and her brood shambled through.
- I have seen a woman at a bar tell a man to get her two beers, then she brought me one of them.
- I have seen countless women tell their man to buy them something, and if he could, he did.
Been guilty of some of these myself.
And as I noticed this dynamic, I started saying “No.” Not mean, not angrily, but with power and conviction.
“Hand me that fax.”
“Buy me a drink.”
“Change my flat.”
“Move my furniture.”
I am not saying you can’t do something for someone if you want, I am simply saying have the balls to make them ask. Even with females in business that out rank me I have said these:
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