Dr. Phil finds himself in a Twitter controversy after having to delete a tweet that caused quite a stir:
“Considering Dr. Phil hosts a talk show driven by lifestyle and relationship driven topics, it seems the subject matter is not necessarily out-of-bounds, but something about the phrasing of the question along with Dr. Phil’s smiling headshot on his eponymous Twitter account made the question come across pretty creepy.
Some thought he was asking his million-plus Twitter followers advice for a situation he found himself facing, personally:
While others were offended by the question because they believed Dr. Phil was rationalizing rape:
@DrPhil As a girl, I enjoy waking up and not knowing who penetrated me the night before. #teensaccused
— TJ Marston (@teej_12) August 20, 2013
Meanwhile, others just had fun making Dr. Phil the butt of their own, Twitter shenanigans:
I have had sex with hundreds of drunk girls – and I was always drunk too. The question is phrased wrong, but I think I get what Dr. Phil was getting at. Can a drunk girl give consent to sex? The answer is it depends. Every single day it wouldn’t surprise me if 100,000 drunk girls in America have drunken consenual sex. That includes drunk wives, girlfriends, friends-with-benefits, booty calls, one night stands and mistresses.
The problem arises when you have sex for the first time with a girl that is:
3) Not emotionally attached
I am never down for rape. It also happens a lot less to women than to men. Of course we don’t talk about prison men or men in general, they don’t matter. I have also had a lot of women try to get me drunk so they could sleep with me. Of course, they would never say this is rape in the same way they would claim it if they had a man do it to them.
So back to the question “Can a drunk girl give consent to sex?” According to the law of most states the answer is “No.” Neither can a man. The fact that you are under the influence of a mind altering substance legally removes you from being able to give consent to sex. You can sign a contract to buy a house or a car. You can join the military. You can vote. But no sex! We must protect the female honor.
Here is a handy little guide from the legal system and how they decide “Alcohol Rape“.
“Either statute or case law specifically outlaws having intercourse
with a person who is too intoxicated to consent.33 In these states,
the victim’s intoxication negates the element of consent, thereby
showing that the sexual act occurred without consent.
Rape occurs when the defendant has sexual intercourse with a
person who is “mentally incapacitated,” which is generally defined
as being rendered temporarily incapable of appraising his or her
conduct due to the influence of a narcotic, anesthetic, or other
substance. In these jurisdictions, the prosecution generally must
show that the victim was “mentally incapacitated” or “mentally
incapable of resisting due to drugs, alcohol, or an anesthetic.”34
Rape occurs when the defendant has intercourse with someone
who is “physically helpless.” In these jurisdictions, the prosecution
can show that the victim was intoxicated to the point of being
physically helpless because she was unconscious, unaware that the
intercourse was occurring, physically powerless, physically incapable
of resisting, or physically disabled due to intoxication.35″
Of course, this impacts a man a lot more than it impacts a woman. Many of the “date rape” stories I have seen and/or heard are of the nature, “Woman and man are on a date. Both are drinking. Both decided to have sex. Woman wakes up the next morning and feels she made a mistake sleeping with this man. To protect her ego or reputation, she claims date rape.” And this is where the rub is. Did the man really rape her? In the described scenario, no he really didn’t. He didn’t force her, throw her down, beat her into submission and use her. Any rational person should say that two drunken people that decide to have sex and later one regrets the act is not an act of rape – it is poor judgement. They won’t say it, but they should.
Of course the book has a handy saying for that too:
“The primary challenge in prosecuting rape cases where the victim is voluntarily
intoxicated is that society tends to have difficulty distinguishing
between drunken sex and rape. Instead of assuming that it was probably
rape because the woman was too drunk to consent, people tend to
assume that the woman consented because she was intoxicated and simply
regretted the sexual encounter later. In these cases, the defense tends to
argue:“It’s not rape; it’s regret,” or, “It’s buyer’s remorse.” Prosecutors must
overcome the tendency to focus on and blame the victim and re-direct
the focus back to the offender’s actions, and thus on the elements of the
crime. It is the prosecutor’s job to show jurors why the case before them
is a case of sexual assault and not just drunken sex that was later regretted.”
Please notice that the first descriptors of the law refer to him or her, however the prosecutor is instructed to see rape rather than drunken consensual sex “because the woman was too drunk to consent.” This is the stuff that rubs me. The law is under the guise of “protection for both sexes” but the truth is this is only for women. Anyway, the PDF is worth a read.
I am very aware that rape and drunken consensual sex happen. It has happened to friends. I have had female friends that were raped by a man that broke in, and physically abused and humiliated them. I have had male friends that woke up with a girl that slipped them a “micky” and took advantage of them. I have also had hundreds of girls admit the same “alcohol induced sex” story where both partners were drunk, yet she felt regret the next day. Every man needs to be aware of this, and if you are a man who sleeps with many woman, then you need to have a plan.
My advice is simple. Never sleep with a drunk girl for the first time. Sure, you are in a relationship that is established, party as much as you want. The first time though, she should not have more than one or two drinks. She has to be coherent and in the moment. This is what you want anyway – to see real desire in her. Not to see her sloppy drunk and non-responsive.
Secondly, get pictures. I have had girlfriends wonder why I have had so many sex pictures of ex-girlfriends. The first time I am with a girl, I naturally get pictures of her posing, sucking me off, my cock in her, her ridding me with a “twinkle in her eye” and a look of lust on her face. Sure, I am a deviant, but it is also a defense mechanism. A very effective defense mechanism at that.
I had a friend who was accused of rape for a similar situation. First date, a few drinks, girl consented and they had a wild sex night. The next day I can only assume she regretted her decision. Rather than think to herself, “I shouldn’t have done that – lesson learned and never again”, she accuses him of rape. The only thing that kept him out of jail were the pictures of her enjoying him sexually and that neither was drunk. Think about that before you leap at an easy woman over the limit.