I Like Him More After He Has Other Girls

“Dear Alpha,

I’ve been a very confused girl for quite a while now.

A guy who I have never met from my previous school added me on Facebook. We had a lot of mutual (friend)s including his cousin so we just got off talking as normal people and we’d talk every day and he’d say things such as ‘I’m attracted to you’ he told me he loves me, he told me he’d told his father about me and what not.

Then after about a month he suddenly stopped. Just completely.

He would only message once a month after that and unfortunately there was a big rumor that I liked him and he did tell his friends that apparently I did.

Anyways were in the same school now and I see him every day. When I first joined he kept pursing me, he literally would text me every week and he told me to say hey in school except he ended up saying it to which I was really shy and just replied hey and quickly scuttled off.

I had opportunities to sit with him etc but I backed out stupidly because I’m so shy. I’ve seen him stare at me ALOT and not just normal stares but staring even when I look WHENEVER he stared at me I’d QUICKLY look away.

I’m going to be honest, I really, really like this guy and I want to talk to him and get him to like me except he talks to every other girl and tries flirting with them. 2 months ago it was my birthday and he texted me ‘happy birthday :*’ I just replied a simple ‘Ty’ he saw the message but replied a day later saying ‘that was cold ’ I replied saying I was busy with my parents that time and he was like okay.

A couple of days later he tried to push his friend who happens to be my good friend into me. Honestly I was felt it was really mean and we haven’t talked since my birthday. I’m not boasting but I am known as a hot girl and he knows in my previous school all the guys were after me.

How do I maintain proper eye contact without ending up blushing like crazy and smiling way too much? As well as do I stare at him first because if he’s staring at me I unconsciously look the other way because I usually do that. He’s dated girls that are honestly not really that good looking and have okay personalities.

How do I approach this guy? Via friends or by myself? :/ a few of my friends are really good friends with him but are not aware I like him.

How do I get this guy? Please help “

Miss R,

Thanks for the questions. You are asking similar questions on how to get a guy you like (or Alpha man in your eyes) to approach you or be with you.

It never ceases to amaze me just how bad men and women are with subtext communication when we “like” someone. Guys and girls, there are lessons in here for both of you.

“he’d say things such as ‘I’m attracted to you’” – this is a guy trying to let you know he wants to be with you. Miss R, why didn’t you tell him back and have the relationship go forward?

Now, all I know about you is the very brief note from above. I bet you didn’t tell him you liked him back for one of 3 reasons;

1) At the time he told you that you weren’t feeling as much attraction to him. Your attraction rose as you saw him flirt more with other women and less with you. Guys, that is preselection at work.

2) You didn’t respond with your own statements of attraction because you assumed since you were talking to him that he would “just know”. The problem is, guys can’t read minds anymore than you can. Before I understood Alpha, if I was telling a girl for a month how attracted to her I was and she did not respond verbally back to me, I would have taken that as a sign she didn’t like me. Now, I wouldn’t tell her, I would make her feel it.

3) You are one of those really shy girls and just couldn’t muster the courage. I don’t think this is you based on your subtext communication. I really feel you are more of a #1 with some #2.

“he literally would text me every week and he told me to say hey in school except he ended up saying it to which I was really shy and just replied hey and quickly scuttled off.” If men and women would really pay attention, they would see the folly of their ways. Telling a girl is not engaging. If she doesn’t like you this isn’t going to help, and if she does, you have given her nothing to work with.

For the women: This guy verbally says he is attracted and loves you – and gets no response.

Then he cuts way back on his communication – the rumor only confused him more.

He text you once a week with “hey” which you only respond to “hey” – he is not trying nearly as hard, nor is he leading you to be open. This is what guys who want to minimize the possibility of rejection text.

For the men: Telling her how attracted you are verbally will not make her feel attracted back to you. You have to learn how to create attraction feelings in her.

Pulling back did help.

Notice, that once the guy stops chasing, stops trying too hard and has the attention of other females how attracted she gets?

“I had opportunity to sit with him etc but I backed out stupidly because I’m so shy.” Once again, I don’t know you but I think it is less “shy” and more expectations or entitlements of what he should do. Did you go sit across the room and hope he would be the brave man to either come sit with you, or drag you to the table?

“I’ve seen him stare at me ALOT and not just normal stares but staring even when I look WHENEVER he stared at me I’d QUICKLY look away.” Hmmmm, maybe you are shy. I still think you just expect him to lead you more as this is what most women want. What I would ask is how you looked away? If your eyes went down to the floor then you turned your head, that is usually a big indicator of female attraction for the man – however, if you did just turn your head, you are giving off a strong signal that you are rejecting the man, similar to if you gave a harsh back turn.

“2 months ago it was my birthday and he texted me ‘happy birthday :*’ I just replied a simple ‘Ty’ he saw the message but replied a day later saying ‘that was cold ’” To me, that is a shit test or an active sign of disinterest. Guys, you still haven’t led her anywhere with this statement. If is a very low risk, hoping for the best, statement. As for “ty”, that is a very low amount of effort on your part with the guy. I don’t believe for one moment that you were so busy you couldn’t write back a longer note. No, I believe both of you are taking a low risk, minimize the possibility of rejection.

“I’m not boasting but I am known as a hot girl and he knows in my previous school all the guys were after me.” This is why I don’t think you are as shy as you are entitled. Nothing wrong with that, however I am here to teach men to see the truth, so I will try to point these slight points of context out. Also note, she mentions her use of preselection as an attraction point he should have. Men will usually feel very special and happy at having a girl that everyone wants – but that doesn’t cause attraction in men like it does women. Men are looks based, personality (status) second. Women are personality first, looks second.

Note to all female readers: You must include a picture of yourself IF you are going to try and convince me you are hot. Unless you state otherwise, the picture will be kept private. If you are 18, bisexual and live close to Dallas, you may be invited to join us.

“How do I maintain proper eye contact without ending up blushing like crazy and smiling way too much? As well as do I stare at him first because if he’s staring at me I unconsciously look the other way because I usually do that.” You are asking me to teach you the subtle art of seduction? LOL In this particular case, move slower. When you catch him looking at you, lower your eyes while smiling.

“He’s dated girls that are honestly not really that good looking and have okay personalities.” Preselection and Social Proof. How I wish that an Alpha man would have pulled me aside in high school or college and taught me just how powerful these concepts are, and just how much women love/hate the electric rush of feelings they get when a very desirable man (as noted by all of the girls enjoying his company) pays attention to them.

“How do I approach this guy?” Here is the problem, the guy sounds pretty mid level in the confidence area, and he luckily did the right steps with having other options (preselection with women) as you minimally communicated to him. And if you are “shy”, so shy that you can’t even look at him, you need a few weeks/months/years of confidence building to approach!

Seriously, this isn’t as hard as seems. At this point, just say “hi” and ask him about something he likes…

“Hi, are you still running track? I have thought about getting started but I don’t know what to do” or whatever. Show interest in what he does, and simply ask him some open questions or for him to teach you. That should help the conversation along.

Then just understand what a guy wants: Great looks, good fashion sense, who is happy with a minimal amount of drama. Sex is likely right after great looks but I don’t recommend you just throw that at him. Especially if he is use to it.

Miss R, one of the great truths of being an Alpha is we get to have a much larger pick of the available females, and the interactions are more on our terms. The fact that we have other females that like us is part of our allure. Our strength of character for leading interactions and understanding how woman are means we have many options.

I don’t know how many options this other guy has, but you may just need to make a little more effort. A guy that has a lot of options with women isn’t going to suffer “ty” as a text response long.

Good luck.